This is Taryn

So thick and soft! Huggies Baby Wipes Review

2012-02-03T18:25:00.001+08:00

I would define "Baby Wipes" as the holy grail of Early Childhood Parenting.

Of course, you need them to remove POO from little BUMS. As a parent I use them for pretty much everything from cleaning down high chairs to wiping spew off myself and cleaning the stovetop. They are great when you discover your 5 year old has multiple tablespoons of Vegemite smeared on her face, minutes before school drop off. When I was a kid, mum used to spit on a tissue to wipe our faces. Gross.

We go through so many baby wipes, our family could probably keep the industry running singlehandedly.

To be honest I am a bit thrifty when it comes to baby wipes. I've always bought the cheap generic brand.

When Huggies asked me to try out their range of baby wipes, I was excited. Mostly because we had nearly run out of the Above-Mentioned-Cheap-And-Nasty-Baby-Wipes, and things were looking pretty dire.

They sent me the whole range to try out.

Huggies Baby Wipes Lightly Fragranced Cucumber and Aloe Refill 80 pack

While using the wipes I became a little bit addicted to the fragranced varieties (Cucumber and Aloe and the Shea Butter). They smell great. They leave a lovely aroma everywhere we have them. They make wiping Tilly's BOT BOT as much of a joy as it can be. I just LOVE the new Cucumber and Aloe variety. They are so yummy smelling. I often wipe myself down with them during hot days spent at the park!! So refreshing! And maybe just a teensy bit weird......

Compared to the cheapie supermarket brand wipes I was using, Huggies wipes are nice and thick, which means you need less. Not to mention they are enriched with other ingredients such as Aloe Vera and Vitamin E. They are also hypoallergenic and safe to use. The pop up tub also makes life easier. It's hard work pinning a 1 year old down long enough to change their stinky bum bum.

Most importantly, they give your baby the complete clean after every nappy change.

Once you try Huggies Wipes there isn't any going back. I've been converted. Huggies baby wipes really are the best.

Huggies have a Jumbo 240 pack of their Cucumber and Aloe wipes to give away to one of my readers. The first person who leaves a comment below will receive them. Please ensure you leave your contact details!

5 months sugar free and I've turned into a sugar free, fat loving... NUTJOB

2012-01-21T10:58:00.005+08:00

So it's been 5 months since I quit that white sticky addictive yucky shiz they call sugar.

I'm not surprised I have stuck to it because I feel fantastic. I'm not sure I will ever go back to the way I used to eat, knowing what I know now.

The food component of this household has changed dramatically. No more endless snacking on fruit. No more daily baking. No more more ignoring the cheese section at the supermarket. Lots of marscapone cheese, lots of cacciatore sausage, Haloumi, butter, full fat feta, coconut oil, bacon, pork crackle, cream, full cream milk, full cream natural yoghurt. We are going through so much butter and it's rocking my socks. It makes everything delicious. I want to scream. THIS TASTE DELICIOUS. And to the amazement of my neighbours, sometimes I do.

5 months in and the hardest part to becoming sugar free is limiting the fruit intake. When you've been conditioned to embrace it your whole life, it's a hard thing to break. I still struggle with this but I know it will take time. It's strange to me now how I ration a banana. It's so high in fructose I finely slice no more than a quarter of it and add it to my yoghurt.

I'm excited by food. Not scared of it. Cooked in duck fat you say!? No worries. Would you like bacon? Yes! Shall we cook those eggs in bacon fat? Bring it. Should I eat that bacon fat? YES! Would you like a slice of pavlova?..... Errrr NO.

Fat. GIMMEE GIMMEE....

I have indulged in the odd sweet treat at parties. But that's where it ends. My cravings do not seem to return. The sweet food is for the party and that is that. If I catch a nibble of some chocolate I am amazed. Why do they make it so sweet? The sweetness to me now is just excessive and I really do not enjoy the flavour.

Now I get cravings of a different sort. Cravings for berries and cream. For cheese. For buttery popcorn. But I'm stoked. My appetite really has diminished.

I've been quite surprised by the events of the past few months. I was never "into" this sort of stuff. I. I do remember however gasping at people with FULL FAT DAIRY IN THEIR TROLLEY. OH MY GOD.. YOU'RE GOING TO GET FAT PEOPLE! FAT!!! Turns out I was wrong.

And now I have become a little obsessed with it all. I'm on the net until all hours googling Coconut oil and reading about anything I can get my hands on. I'm stalking forums and reading Facebook pages on an hourly basis. I'm telling everyone. Debating the issue, being questioned. Getting easily frustrated with organisations such as The Heart Foundation who ignore the research on saturated fats and sugar and still preach the exact opposite. Listening to Professor What's His Name on You Tube. I'm always curious as to why people would go on a Low Fat diet (or as I call them Starvation Diets. Because all they do is make you hungrier).

I've turned into some sort of "alternative nutrition expert', dispelling the myths about fat and spreading the joys of a sugar free life to anyone who will listen and anyone who will not listen. They still look at me as if I landed from Mars. And that's ok. It will take time. One person at a time.

I've done my job for nutrition in Australia. I have converted approximately 5 people to a sugar free life. There's only 18 million people or so to go.

Wish me luck?

Yibbee the kids are off to school! Bright Star Kids Labels Review

2012-01-18T08:58:00.004+08:00

So the kids are going back to school soon and I am kinda glad. This place is a nuthouse. Seriously. It is not possible. NOT POSSIBLE. To have a clean and ordered home when you have 3 kids. I'm also kinda getting sick of hearing "Mum, where are we going today?". I'm also kinda sick of hearing them cry when I say "Nowhere". Their reciprocation of "NO WAY THAT'S TOO BORING" is driving me to a mild state of bonkers.

2012 will bring lots of new changes for us. I'm looking forward to a new routine, but also a little sad. I think I'll miss the mayhem. My Boy is off to Kindy and My Big Girl is starting Full Time Pre Primary.

Bright Star Kids asked me to review their fab range of labels. Bright Star Kids is a one stop shop for your kids name labels.

I'm always looking for funky kids websites that help me save time. Bright Star Kids is one of those websites.

When I was a kid, mum used to chip away at pencils with a Stanley knife and write our names on with pen. If she was lucky to not LOSE A FINGER doing this, it would take all afternoon. Sometimes she liquid papered stuff and then wrote our name over the top with a pen. Yuck. Oh things have changed since then. Now you can get specky name labels with pictures and colours and...

These kids have no idea how lucky they are.

Bright Star kids sent me a stack of name labels to try out.

The name labels come in compact sheets and stick on brilliantly. No more scrawling your kids name in permanent marker. They also come in a great range of colours, designs and sizes. Labels to stick on toys, lunch boxes, shoes, bags..... everything.

Let's not forget the Iron On Labels, which stick really well. It only takes 10 seconds to iron it on and presto, you're done.

So there is no need to use the archaic methods of the 1980's to label your kids possessions.

We labelled The Boys new bag, drink bottle, lunch box and used an Iron On Label on his hat.

My Boy is now ready for Kindy. I'm just not sure if kindy is ready for My Boy. Time will tell.

Hairdressers and the boofy factor

2012-01-14T13:30:00.005+08:00

I very much like going to the hairdressers.

It's a nice way to sit in one spot for a few hours without being asked to wipe anyones bottom.

You might be lucky enough to enjoy a coffee and drink it all before it gets cold. You might even be lucky enough to engage in an adult conversation without being interupted. And if you're REALLY lucky your hairdresser might have those lovely massage chairs which may help you engage in a little midday siesta.

Up until now, I have not been regular visitor to the hairdresser. I used to cut my hair myself. Having very curly hair - it's actually quite easy to do this. You can't see any errors, the curls hide it nicely. It's not until now that I see so many grey hairs that I realise I need to go more frequently. I have vowed to go to the hairdressers and give those greys a seeing to. You know. To avoid confronting the fact that I am GETTING OLD. Which is actually quite devastating in itself.

That last part of the customer/hairdresser relationship - The Blow Dry makes me a bit ancy.

Let me tell you why. I have NEVER met a hairdresser who knows how to blow dry curls nicely. When they learn their skill and they undertake Curly Hair 101, I am pretty sure the manual writes that the procedure to dry curly hair is to make it as boofy as possible. Make it fizz and fuzz. Comb that curl right out baby. Think Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. But worse. Get the hair to fuzz out as much as possible and you have done your job.

I will never pay for my hair to be blow dried because I end up looking like Fuzzy the Fuzzball from Fuzzland. Dear Hairdresser - Frizzies are bad. Tame that curl, get the curls to stay together. It's not 1984 and I'd prefer I didn't look like I just rolled out of the nearest Rollerskating rink.

And what's funny is. They say "ta daaa". When they have finished and add "See. Not frizzy at all". And I'm like...... WHAT!! Are you for real? If that isn't frizzy, show me what is! Have you gone nuts!? Then I realise it's not their fault. They were brainwashed at Hairdressing school.

So I never have my hair blow dried curly. I always ask for them to blow dry it straight or just leave it. Which is kind of annoying.

Do you suffer from hairdresser anxiety. Do you tell your hairdresser when they've done a shitty job?

Embracing the New Year

2011-12-28T11:55:00.000+08:00

Soon we will say goodbye to 2011 and prepare to dip our toes into the untested cold water of 2012.

I'm a little hesitate to let go of 2011. For one, the education system seems to be dead set in it's ambition to steal all my kids from me.

We have two kids off to school next year. So it will just be little Tilly and I left behind. And while I am looking forward to that, it makes me sad to see the kids grow up so fast.

There are new things to deal with. Lunch boxes to be made each and every single day. Pick up and drop off every single day. A new routine. New friends. The new logistics of organising the lives of three small children.

And each year life changes, the kids grow older, more independent.

And I am so grateful to have been able to stay at home with them.

Tis the Season to be Cranky

2011-12-21T12:42:00.001+08:00

Christmas is meant to be a joyful time of the year. But come on. It never is. Have you been to the shops in the weeks leading up to Christmas? Or for that matter, on the roads?

If only our disposition matched the joyful tunes of the Michael Buble Christmas Album being played in double storey shopping centres. We should be gliding around happily, chewing on rum balls, singing carols, smiling at strangers, looking lovingly at our own family and being all festive and stuff.

But instead all I see is mayhem. Wives barking at husbands. Husbands yelling at their wives. Queues of angry customers arguing who was next in line. Mum's yelling at their children. Children crying because they got yelled at. Getting shitty at that lady in front of you with the goddamn pram who won't get out of the way. (sorry it was probably me). People walking SLOW. Lots of stressed out angry shoppers pissed off with everyone and everything. GET ME THE F*** OUTA HERE.

And what about the carpark? As if the actually shopping centre isn't bad enough. The carpark is the most undesirable place in the world to be during Christmas week. As the 5000 cars appear en masse to occupy some 2000 bays available, things are going to get nasty. BEEP!! HONK! Multiple zooped up Commodores accellerating and breaking with force giving the passengers in the car spinal injuries. All in the name of getting the best car bay. You know the one. Right at the entrance in the shade. Everyone has gone mad.

The roads are busy and everyone's stressed. No one lets anyone "in". It's a no mans land and it's every man for himself here. Everyone is in a rush and no one gives a crap about anyone else.

I think I may be a victim of the Christmas Crankies. I had an appointment to pick up my new pair of glasses at Specsavers on Monday and totally lost my shit at the lady who served me. My glasses weren't ready to be picked up. I was rancid. After allocating my children to an alternative adult, taking 30 minutes to find a car bay that wasn't in Iraq. I was totally pissed. Not because they weren't ready. But because I AM GOING TO HAVE TO COME BACK HERE AT SOME POINT AND DEAL WITH ALL THIS SHIT AGAIN.

So Christmas is here and I urge you TO CALM THIS SHIT DOWN. What are you stressed about? Christmas? What? It's not the end of the world if you forget to get Aunty Berryl a present. A box of Cadbury Favourites is highly underated so go directly to Coles and get a few of those. Leave your cranky pants at home. How about you try and enjoy the lead up to Christmas as well as the actual day. Get all festive like and joyful. Walk around the shops with your egg nog. Smile politely at strangers. Dang it. Offer them a sugar free treat. Let that granny cut in front of you in the line. Afterall isn't that what Christmas is all about?

If I start, everyone will soon follow my lead surely. Anyone. Anyone?

Coconut Oil Changed My Life

2011-12-14T19:26:00.003+08:00

I've talked a lot on this blog about my Sugar Free life and I have discovered some new foods and fats that are good for me and I never knew it.

Like that Saturated fat is good for you. It doesn't make you fat. It helps you lose weight. It helps you absorb the nutrients in your food. It makes you feel fuller and more satisfied with your meals. Let's not forget that it also TASTES BLOODY AWESOME.

At first I couldn't quite believe it. It went against everything I had been told about healthy eating. I was pissed off. With doctors. Researchers. Dieticians. Everyone who we thought we could trust.

But when you think about it. It totally makes sense. The low fat revolution began after some dimwit in 70's published faulty research about saturated fat. His research found that Saturated Fat make us fat. But it was all dodgy and was not a comprehensive study. Soon word got out and the low fat revolution began. But woah! Wait. What a surprise. We all got fatter. Like. DERRR. Of course we did. He was wrong.

I've tried eating low fat before. Like all the time. I would avoid the fat as much as I could. I've bought the low fat butter, low fat cheese. I've spent hours cutting the fat off meat. Being stingy with the butter in baking. Buying Skim Milk. Passing on the cream. Skimping on the oil. Skimping on the fat means you lose a lot of the flavour.

And remember Low fat is almost always paired with a higher sugar content which makes it even worse.

So this is how I have come to discover Coconut Oil. Extremely high in Saturated fat and very good for you. I have the Niulife brand which is Organic, cold pressed, raw and unrefined. Open the jar and you want to swim in it, it smells delicious.

I eat a tablespoon a day straight out of the jar. The texture was a bit weird at first but I got over it. I started putting it on my skin. Putting it everywhere and anywhere and then I had a lightbulb moment.

I have struggled with the kids skin. Harry has had terribly dry skin since birth. It gets really bad in Winter when he itches and itches and draws blood all over his body. It's horrifying. I have bought EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN lotion at the chemist that has the "Dry Skin" "Eczema" buzzwords on it to no avail. Nothing really works. His skin just doesn't seem to absorb anything.

Tilly's Eczema seems to have gotten worse since she got older. She has dry patches and lots of redness around the skin folds. I flat out refuse to use anything the doctor will prescribe. (Since becoming Sugar Free I am suspicious of everyone and their motives. Perhaps I've been brainwashed).

I ran quite a hot bath for the kids the other night. I was all out of their normal QV wash. What could I use? Hmm. Any commercial soap will flare up their skin. So I grab the magic jar of Coconut Oil and scooped a tablespoon out of it and let it melt into the hot bath. They sat in the bath for a good half hour. They got out and I could instantly feel their skin hydrated. I've done this every night and the results are ASTOUNDING.

Harry's skin feels soft and supple to the touch. He's stopped itching. There are no dry patches. All the dry patches on Tilly's skin have gone. She still has a little redness but it has definitely improved and I would expect that the disappear as we continue with the Coconut Oil baths. Afterall, it's only been a week.

So I'm writing about this in the hope that it will also help somebody else. Because having a blog kind of helps with that.

I know, I know... I'm such a giver.

My Reworked Easy Gluten and Sugar free Pumpkin muffins

2011-11-28T13:49:00.001+08:00

I have reworked my Pumpkin Muffin recipe which is one of my most clicked on posts here. I really need to share it with you because they are just DELICIOUS. No really. No lies. Just a lot of nom nom...

Sugar and Gluten free Pumpkin Muffins.

I have made various discoveries about Vegetable Oil over the past week or so. I wanted to remove that ingredient from this recipe which I originally put up a few months ago, since starting my sugar free life.

So here it is. My reworked Pumpkin Muffin Recipe. Let me tell you. It's way better than the first one

The muffins are slightly sweet. It might be best to describe the taste similar to a pumpkin scone but with more of a cakey texture. Smother them with extra butter (NOT MARGARINE) as they come out of the oven.

Recipe:

2 cups Gluten Free Self Raising Flour

Pinch Salt

1 cup mashed, steamed pumpkin. I steam my pumpkin in the microwave. Sometimes it creates some yummy residual pumpkin juice, chuck that in too.

1 egg

80 grams melted butter

1/4 cup full cream milk

Chuck the ingredients in a bowl and mix. Place in a well greased muffin tray and cook in a moderate oven for 10-15 minutes until slightly brown on top.

I've given up buying Gluten Free bread now and making these instead.

You'll love them. Trust me.

So I got my face zapped. My first cosmetic procedure

2011-11-19T11:08:00.003+08:00

Yesterday something amazeballs happened.

I had my first cosmetic "procedure". For the record, I am not against any of these types of procedures. I think my view on this is largely due to the Nip Tuck TV show of which I am a big fan. I cried endlessly for days when the show was cancelled.

Since Harry was born I have struggled with facial redness across my nose and cheeks which makes me look permanently sunburnt (despite avoiding the sun in any way possible). And this Christmas, I have strong desires not to be mistaken for Rudolph the Reindeer's naughty little sister.

I have Rosacea. Apparently it's caused mostly by changing hormones so we'll blame the kids. It's also heredity. So we'll blame my parents.

It has been getting worse and worse. I bought a few creams. Mostly they succeeded in emptying my wallet and they did absolutely nothing to fix my problem.

So I decided to pay quite a lot of money and have it lasered. I went straight to a laser surgery clinic and was seen by a consultant and a Dermatologist applied the laser.

I was told to expect some burning and redness for a few days after the treatment. Told to stay out of the sun as my skin would be extra sensitive to it. I was told another treatment may be necessary, but as my condition was quite mild, it should respond to one treatment just fine.

Then I was told I may experience some "mild discomfort". I laughed. PLEASE LADY. I HAVE HAD 3 C SECTIONS AND ONE C SECTION WITH AN EPIDURAL THAT DIDN'T WORK. I CAN HANDLE PAIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I was smug.

She likened the "discomfort" to being flicked by an elastic band. HAHAHAHAH. Pur-lease. Do not insult my pain threshold.

I lay down for my procedure. The doc reiterates this "mild discomfort" palaver. She says I may jolt after each zap. She then says that many patients have a PANIC ATTACK DURING THE PROCEDURE.

Oh. Shit. It was then I realise this might actually be bad.

And it was.

It was UNF*CKING BELIEVABLY PAINFUL! Flicked by an elastic band? WHAT!? Have you had this done to you? Are you f*ucking insane! It was like being whacked with bloody hot iron multiple times. The heat is so intense you jolt to the freaken moon and back, it's such a bloody shock to the system.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was no anxiety attack (this time). But if I need a follow up procedure done, I will be giving it lots of thought.

That was easily more painful than childbirth.

I have to give my skin 6-8 weeks to see any improvements. Already it's calmed down a bit and it's not radiating heat like it always does. Which is surprising because I felt like I'd received 3rd degree burns to my face during the treatment.

I am hopeful I don't have to go back, if I do - I may need to request an anesthetist.

Sorry dad for swearing.

I love Facebook. But it shits me at the same time.

2011-11-13T11:26:00.002+08:00

My love/hate relationship with Facebook is multifacetted. I firstly must apologise to my dad who will be suitably devastated, when he reads the title of this post and see that I have sworn again like the little potty mouth that I am. Sorry dad.

Image Credit

Issue Number one:

When "old friends" are your Friends on Facebook.

Ok, I would be lying if I said that I kept all my friendships. There are the high school friendships, the work friendships etc, that usually end when the circumstances change. It's called LIFE. You parted company for one reason or another and now you are inextricably linked to one another. This can be good. Perhaps you might re-ignite your friendship. But mostly you won't. Now they can see everything you have been doing and what you are up to. But what if you update your Facebook all the time (if you're like me) and they don't? Then the Facebook friendship is OUT OF BALANCE, and I will argue that you must unfriend them. This simply is not fair. They are getting all the juicy bits from your life and reading all your updates (believe me they are), and you are getting jack crap. Cut them off.

Issue Number Two

You have 200 friends, but only 20 people comment or update their status.

Again, trust me when I say that most of those 200 friends have read what you wrote. Those 20 people who you do actually hear from are kindhearted, caring people who understand social media and the value of an update. Keep those friends, remove the rest.

Issue Number Three

You can't keep anything a secret anymore.

Ok, this happens to me all the time. Say you have a party. Those people that you didn't invite will find out about it, because someone will CHECK IN to your party or tag you in a photo or write on your wall about the party. You just can't hide anything anymore. Bury your head in the sand or take pride in your decision not to invite them. Pick one.

Issue Number Four

People saying silly things.

Do not base a status update on the best way to raise, feed or parent a child.

The result will be the biggest shit fight you ever did see. This one will blow up in your face, even if you weren't making a genuine comparison. Do not make comment on peoples choices (especially mother's choices) because this does not bode well. Trust me.

Issue Number Five

Do not use Facebook as an indirect means to tell someone that you hope they would die.

Seriously. No one want's to read a status update targeted to someone in the vain hope they may read it and get the hint. If you have a mouth, you should use it and speak to them directly. Do not make a public statement about someone and embarrass them on such a public forum. That is just plain silly and it will make you look like a poo face. Not cool kids. Not cool.

These are my wise words of wisdom. I think I might be doing some "Friend Culling" on Facebook over the next few days.

So tell me, have I missed anything?

Sugar Free: So yeah. I stuffed up. But it's all good.

2011-11-11T12:24:00.001+08:00

It's been a while since I have posted about becoming sugar free.

It's been 3 months (about) and still I am learning so much about the correct way to eat.

It's been hard for me. Reprogramming my brain has been difficult. Eat what you like. Just stay away from sugar. It's been hard looking at things like butter differently. I've spent my life spreading it thinly and only where needed. Those habits are hard to change but I am getting there. Thanks to the interwebs, I am learning more about saturated fat and embracing things like butter and cheese. It's hard to change your thinking when the Anti-Fat Movement have banged on (incorrectly) about how fat is bad all my life.

So yeah. In saying this, I did. Stuff up.
We had some party time when Tilly turned one a few weeks ago. Making the caramel popcorn for her party, I could not but help dip my little fingers in the bowl of warm hot sticky caramel. I guess it started then. I had a few little bits of caramel popcorn. Then I had few little Gluten free sugary cakes. I had icecream. I guess you could say it was party food but I ate this way for a few days and parties only usually go for a few hours!

I know I stuffed up here but I am glad I did. Why? Because I felt sick after consuming every little portion. The caramel popcorn not so much. But when I ate an icecream, nausea came over me and I threw up. Just to test it I tried another one a few days later. Same thing happened. I threw up again and I was in a sugar induced stupor for a few days and I felt absolutely TERRIBLE. And I had the biggest headache that no amount of Panadol or Nurofen could cure (yes they were Gluten Free so there is no reason why they should have made me this ill).

So with my stuff ups behind me I am back with the program and there'll be no going back believe me. I have 3 meals a day and a snack before bed. I eat less than I used to. My meals are smaller. I am eating more butter and cheese than I ever had in my life. My belly is full. I don't think about food. I don't miss chocolate. I feel sick looking at it to be honest. I have a small bowl of popcorn before bed coated in melted butter. It is OMG amazingly delicious. I am enjoying food more than ever before. Suddenly our meals are tastier. I'm not skimping on the butter, the oil or the cheese. The food tastes great and I eat less of it. I am satisfied easily.

And I have lost more weight. I'm down to 53kg. I am pretty sure that is less than what I was on my wedding day. And that was 9 years ago and I've had 3 kids since then. And there has been absolutely no exercise at all.

Slowly but surely I am removing all the sugary cereals that my children used to eat. I am removing the cookies and milk before bed (GASP). I am eliminating the sugar for them slowly. But we will get there. I shudder when I think I used to buy them Nutrigrain. Disgusting.

Gary Taubes, David Gillespie, Sarah Wilson and Christine Cronau and their followers are CORRECT. I need to arm myself with more knowledge so I can hopefully help others and stop the Low Fat = Weight Loss bullshit.

And one more thing. The cravings have gone.

Sugar is bad. It's now time for me to learn about fat and which types of fat to embrace.

Dear Tilly

2011-10-27T06:00:00.011+08:00

So my love, you are one today.

Tilly "Smooshie Face" is one today.

This is what we call you

I call you "My little smooshie face"

Poppy calls you "Nooo Noooo!!".
Harry calls you "oh yo gooshie gooshie"
Dad refers to you in the third person "Oh shes so nice. Nice!" he says while grabbing you hard and rubbing his spikey face against yours.

You are a fiesty little muchacho who loves to

1. Pull Harry's curly hair at every possible moment
2. Be the centre of attention
3. Crawl like mad dog when a door to one of the bathrooms is left oven. The toilet is a source of utter fascination. Once you've finished playing with the toilet, you try to pull open the vanity drawers and stick your head into the bag of cotton wool balls and then proceed to throw them all over the place.
4. Play with her siblings. You love nothing more than pulling their Lego houses apart faster than they can be built.

5. Raise one arm up in the air like you are saluting Caesar.

6. Say "bok bok" at Grandmas chickens. Now you think every animal is a chicken and you say "bok bok" to everything from birds to dogs.

7. Throw everything I give to you, off your highchair.

8. Play Peekaboo

9. Wave bye bye to the front door.
10. Eat popcorn.

You are fiesty. Cheeky. Beautiful.

You sleep like an angel.

You are the smiliest, contented baby I have ever seen.

It warms my soul to see you so happy in our family.

My daughter.

We are so thrilled to have you.

Happy birthday Tilly. We love you.

Sugar Free, Gluten Free - Easy Almond, Lemon and Raspberry Muffins

2011-10-19T09:59:00.001+08:00

I purchased some packets of dextrose from Big W yesterday and was keen to try it out.

Dextrose, unlike normal table sugar is 100% glucose. Sugar is 50% glucose, 50% fructose (fructose is the yucky stuff that gives you diseases, stuffs up your appetite control system and makes gives your bum it's own postcode).

I was feeling like something almondish, but not wanting to use numerous egg whites (as you do with friands). I created these yummy muffins instead.

They are not completely fructose free because of the added raspberries, so consume these as part of your normal daily fruit intake.
Don't overeat. Remember - calories are still calories even if you are sugar free.

They are amazeballs!

Delicious. Baking with dextrose - so far so good.

Ingredients

1 cup Gluten Free Self Raising Flour

1 cup Almond Meal

1/2 cup dextrose (add a bit more if you like them really sweet).

Pinch salt

1/4 cup Vegetable Oil

1/4 cup water

3 eggs, lightly beaten

1 tspn finely grated lemon rind

1 cup frozen raspberries

Chuck everything in a bowl (except the raspberries) and mix well. Fold in the raspberries.

Poor batter into silicone muffin or silicone mini loaf tins. Please note that this batter may stick to normal muffin tins, even when greased well.

Makes about 9 muffins.

Cook in a moderate oven for about 20 minutes.

Absolutely delish!

The little man was happy to taste test.

The Last Tin of Formula

2011-10-17T16:55:00.005+08:00

Our little Tilly is due to turn one in a few weeks.

I just got back from the shops and had to grab a tin of formula. Which is no big deal. Then I realised. This will be the last tin of formula. Ever. In our household. When she turns one, that will be the end of her formula days and I'll move her over to cow's milk.

It signifies the end of babydom in our house. No more babies. Now a toddler and two children will be among us.

Perhaps I am overly sentimental. Or maybe I'm just a tad pathetic. Or lame. Possibly that too.

No more teeny tiny outfits. No more drool. Finding spew all around the house. Things being thrown from a highchair. No more bouncing on her on my knees. Nobody saying "Oooo! What a cute baby!". No more half sucked pages of books, teething rings. Rattles. Playpens. No more peakaboo. No more mini person. No more outfit sizes with differing quantities of zeros. No more scouring the floors for hazards. The days of putting everything in her mouth are coming to end. No more pureed food. No more mobiles. No more playgym sets.

No more bottles. No more formula. No more holding her in my arms and feeding her.

Having a baby can be hard. Well it is hard. It's challenging. Frustrating. Tedious. Exhausting. But it's so short lived. And it's not until it's over that you realise what a small blip it was in life. And then you wonder why you ever complained.

So I'm a little bit sad. Where did the time go?

No really. Where did it go?

The Last Tin of Formula

It was seriously only last week when I was finishing up at work some 5 and a half years ago, bidding my crappy corporate existence farewell and looking to embrace my new role as a mother.

Little did I know 3 beautiful children, happy and healthy children would come into our lives.

I'm keeping a close eye on this, The Last Tin of Formula. When it's empty, we have left Tilly's babyhood behind. We have left babyhood behind for good. No more babies.

Thankfully The Last Tin of Formula should last a few more weeks.

And then I will really cry.

Learning how to cook Gluten Free Sourdough bread

2011-10-09T18:15:00.005+08:00

I was a little bit excited when my Gluten Intolerant friend Mel, asked if I wanted to join her in a Gluten Free Sourdough Cooking class.

I have had Coeliac disease for some 8 years and I have failed in my attempts in making good gluten free bread at home.

The process of actually buying gluten free bread is hard. First you have to find one that you actually enjoy. Then there is the cost to consider. Most loaves (which are much smaller than "normal" wheat bread) cost around $8 a pop. So it's a bit of a luxury to enjoy what other people are eating all the time.

The class was great. We learnt about Gluten Free Sourdough starters and different types of gluten free flours. But most importantly, we ate.

... and ate....

...and ate....

crumpets, waffles, hamburger buns, bread...

I had a stomach ache.

So much yummy gluten free bread stuff

I'm in Gluten Free Heaven with a big fat sore tummy

I have got to admit to feeling a little overwhelmed. There was a lot to take in. I had never really heard of "starters" (fermentation process required to make sourdough) before and I think I may have been a little bit out of my baking depth! Thank god we had notes to take home.

We got to make our own gluten free sourdough mixture. I decided to make the Rice Sorghum loaf. Here was my mixture. Yes a mixture. Like a cake batter. Not a dough to knead and knead. I'm a bit happy about that. I don't have time to wash my face let alone knead bread!

My batter is rockin

I took the mixture home. Popped it in a tin. Watched it rise a little and baked it in the oven. It's looked great, I was so surprised. Surely it could not be that easy?

My bread is looking fantasticles.

So it looked great, but I was sure it would be hollow in the middle and we'd end up putting it in the kids dress ups so they could use it as a hat.

But it wasn't hollow. It was great!

Our teacher Yoke, told us it had taken 900 tries to get the perfect Gluten Free Loaf. 900 times! Oh My! I knew it was hard. I was never able to manage it.

Came out pretty good. With a few holes for extra holiness (God was present)

Easy on the butter Taryn.... but wait. No sugar. Enjoy

I'm stoked. The bread freezes well and toasts really well from frozen. The recipes are all wholegrain and free from numbers, Xantham gums, emulsifiers and yeast. There are no nasties. Wholesome, wholegrain bread that's good for me and better for my bank account.

YUM!

If you would like to know more about these classes (and you are in Perth) please visit http://www.wildsourdough.com.au/. She also has a range of books available.

This was not a sponsored post. I just wanted to show off my exceptional baking abilities.

Heading into My Second Month. Sugar Free

2011-10-03T15:06:00.001+08:00

Hello my name is Taryn and I WAS addicted to sugar.

By now I think I have adjusted to my new way of life. I have found the experience unbelievably easy. On the other hand, I have been surprised at the response to the way I eat now. More on that later.

I am certainly a little lighter overall. On my last post I had gotten down to 54.6kg. I think now I am around 55.5kg. Yes I seemed to have put a small amount of weight on during the last few weeks. I have been eating A LOT of cashew nuts, Haloumi cheese (like it's going out of fashion) and generally enjoying all those full fat yummy savoury flavours. I'm no expert but I am going to guess that's probably why the weight loss has stopped. This is no big deal for me, I am not overweight. I am not here because I want to lose weight (Although I'm not going to complain about losing a few kilos!). I'm here because I was addicted. I'm winning that battle.

My appetite has severely diminshed. It took a almightly serve of food for me to get to that "full" stage before I went Sugar Free. That feeling would only come during Christmas lunch or a big occassion where the food is plentiful. I enjoy that feeling of "fullness" every day now. For example. Eating dinner, I find I may not be able to actually eat it all. Food is left on the plate!? OH MY GOD! AMAZEBALLS. This is new for me. I will actually feel the desire for food and then a feeling of fullness comes as I eat. I can consciously feel it "switch on". Ok this sounds weird, but it's what happens with me. I am more aware of my body and what it needs. It is only now, I know I was eating way too much.

I feel incredibly FREE! EMPOWERED! IN CONTROL! Being sugar free is an incredible feeling. I feel free from addiction. I can do anything! My cravings for sugar are still there. When that comes over me, I have a small piece of fruit or drink some milk. Who knew milk was sweet? It is to me now.

So there have been some amazing benefits for me. On the negative side though, I have found others to be very surprised at what I don't eat. I am kind of a bit tired being looked at like I just landed from Loopy Land. People are generally aghast when I say I don't eat sugar. But wait! You shouldn't avoid food groups because you may develop a sensivity to it later. Good lord, sugar is not a food group people! I am being judged I can see the look in their eye.

My biggest problem now is this. I want to shout out from the rooftops with a kickass microphone "JUST QUIT SUGAR, IT'S THAT EASY!". I want to tell everybody who is addicted to sugar or wants to lose weight the story of how sugar is ruining our bodies. I want to tell everyone that will listen. I want to tell everyone that will not listen. Unfortunately I realise that would most likely get me admitted to the nearest Mental Health Facility.

So I won't do that. I'll just write it all here for you instead.

Easy Gluten Free Cheese and Herb Muffins (Sugar free)

2011-10-03T09:24:00.000+08:00

There has been more baking in my kitchen experimenting with sugar free alternatives. Here is my super easy Gluten Free Cheese and Herb muffins.

1 1/4 Gluten Free Self Raising Flour
2 eggs lightly whisked
3 tbspns vegetable oil
1 cup grated cheddar cheese (packed in well)
1/2 cup Full Cream Natural Yoghurt
Good of pinch salt
Tspn mixed dried herbs. Or more if you like it with loads of flavour.

Chuck ingredients in a bowl. Mix well. Bake in a moderate oven for about 15 minutes until golden.

I would have included a picture but they were eaten by the time I thought to get the camera out!

Why Mums With Multiple Small Children Hate Self Serve Checkouts

2011-09-30T17:08:00.002+08:00

Ugggh Image Credit

When I first saw the Self Serve checkouts arrive I was a little bit excited. Finally an answer to my checkout woes. Checkouts irritate me.

Swarms of customers always greatly outnumber the service provided. Frazzled shoppers roll their eyes. 10 customers. One checkout. I cannot count the number of times I've needed a few things, seen the queue at the checkout and done the Dump and Run.

Trying to pick the best checkout never works. I choose the line I think is moving the fastest, only to realise moments later that I have of course, chosen the worst one. Then I get pissed off with myself and by that time, one or all of the children has declared they are hungry and/ or has an itchy bum.

I went to the shops yesterday. There was one Human checkout and 6 Self Serve or Robot Checkouts (as I like to call them).

The Human Checkout had 10 customers lined up. All pensioners. All too scared to use the Robot checkouts. So. I am a logical person and hate to wait. I use the Robot Checkout. Because it's faster. Or is it?

I have one MEGA pack of baby wipes. 23 identical toys. One DVD and some bubble mixture.. as you do. I put all my stuff on the bench. Proceed to scan. The mega pack of baby wipes is actually bigger than the weigh bench on the other side. So I put it in the pram. The robot BEEPS, meaning "You've stolen it haven't you? THIEF!!". The staff member comes over and puts a key in the Robot. This is Human to Robot speak for "She hasn't stolen anything". She tells me I've done it wrong. Do it THIS way.

HANG ON. WAIT. SORRY. WHAT!?

I go to scan my identical toys. I cannot select that I have 23 and scan one. I have to scan them INDIVIDUALLY. I'm feeling a little stabby. After scanning each and every item I'm ready to scan the DVD. The boy wants to hold it. I give it to him. BEEP! Oops you've stolen something again and the lady comes back to unlock the Robot. By the time I get to the bubble mixture I've wised up and do things the way the Robot wants me to do it. By such time my son is rolling on the floor screaming to hold his bubble mixture and my baby is in a fit because she likes the pram to be moving and we've been stuck at the Robot for what feels like eternity.

So there are kids and bags and crap everywhere. A Robot that keeps beeping at me and a staff member that's losing her shit. So much to account for. I can't manage the kids and do this at the same time. I start to shake.

We leave the store. The Human Checkout served all it's human customers. It would have been just as fast. Typical.

And whats worse, in the mayhem I think I overcharged myself and scanned more than I actually have. But wait. Is that my fault? I guess so. Who shall I complain to? Myself?

And Australian retailers wonder why we shop online. Stop whinging about that and give us some real service. It's all we've wanted all these years. You never listened. So now we'll buy what we want how we like.

OK?

It's My 2nd Blogiversary!!!

2011-09-26T13:27:00.004+08:00

I can not believe I have been blogging for 2 whole years.

I started back in the day when there were only a handful of "mummy bloggers" (uggh I hate that term). Now there are approximately 5689 million thousand. Ok that might not be a real number or even be totally accurate, but you get my drift.

My blog started when I became addicted to Facebook. My status updates became chapters. After my Facebook friends began unfriending me in droves, I realised I needed another outlet. Lengthy emails to friends made me realise my love of writing and I tried writing a little blog.

Image Credit

I love it. It's been interesting and I have learnt a lot about pretty much everything. Let's not forget to mention I've made some pretty fabulous friendships also.

A new comment still gives me a tingle. When it stops giving me that tingle, it might be time to stop.

I'm going to celebrate tonight by staying up until 9pm instead of the usual 8.30pm and having two cups of tea (without sugar) instead of one before bed. Ring a ding ding.

Unfortunately I am still waiting for my book deal.

Easy Gluten Free, Sugar Free Pumpkin Muffins

2011-09-24T09:45:00.001+08:00

Thankfully eating sugar free doesn't mean I have to give up baking. This morning the kids and I whipped up some yummy Pumpkin Muffins.

I used the same recipe as the Gluten Free, Sugar Free Banana Muffins - and used pumpkin instead of banana.

Our pumpkin happened to be one of those deliciously sweet ones, hence making the muffins super tasty. My husband (who is not Coeliac or Sugar Free... YET) loved them and the kids devoured them in seconds. They are delicious served straight from the oven. Super yummy cut in half with a little butter.

Easy Gluten Free, Sugar Free Pumpkin Muffins

Easy Gluten Free, Sugar Free Pumpkin Muffins Recipe

1 lightly whisked egg
1/2 cup Full Fat Natural Yoghurt
1 1/4 cups Gluten Free Self Raising Flour
1 cup cooked mashed pumpkin
2 tbspns Vegetable Oil

Grease muffin tray with Canola Oil. Chuck all the ingredients in a bowl and mix. Put in a moderate oven for approx 15 minutes until brown on top. Makes about 10 muffins.

Sugar Free? You may think I'm nuts, but the results speak for themselves.

2011-09-20T13:30:00.005+08:00

As you know, I removed sugar from my diet after I read the Sweet Poison books, and I was convinced that sugar is a poisonous, addictive substance that is making us fat and giving us all sorts of health problems. I am three weeks (or so) Sugar Free and here is what I have noticed.

The first few days were hard. I suffered. I felt extremely hungry. I ate a lot. I was cranky and a whole lot stabby.
I no longer think about food. It doesn't really control my thoughts like it used to. Now I find myself thinking that I am actually not thinking of food at all! Because I am not hungry!
I eat half of what I used to and still feel full and completely satisfied.
The types of food I eat have changed. I have the aim to create my own Gluten Free cereal, but until that happens I have been enjoying omelette's for breakfast with spinach, feta and ham, and it doesn't really take as much time to prepare as you would think.
The way I see food has completely changed. I no longer feel guilty when I eat food with a high fat content. I enjoy it.
I don't feel like I am missing out.
The cravings have not gone away. Small sips of Coke Zero have helped with the cravings but once I run out of it, I'm not buying anymore.
I look at sweet food and no longer want to stuff it in my gob.
I no longer buy bags of Freddo Frogs and want to stick my head in the packet and absorb the chocolately smell.
Looking at cakes makes me ill.
My sensitivity to sweet things has increased. Food I used to love are unbearably sweet to me now.

I will be upfront and say that I have enjoyed a sweet treat or two. At two different party occassions, the host had catered for me with a gluten free treat. If this happens, as a general rule, I will not say no. But I will have just one. Surprisingly I could just stop at one and leave it at that.

I feel overwhelmingly cranky at all the doctors, health guru's, nutritionists and dietitians that have told us to eat everything in moderation (WTF does that mean anyway) and to specifically avoid FAT if we don't want to get FAT.

And so I am 152cm tall. At the start of the year I weighed 59kg (after the birth of my third child). I have succeeded in losing weight this year. I got down to 57kg. I went sugar free. I am now 54.6kg. My goal weight is 54kg

I did this with NO EXERCISE (regrettably), other than chasing the kids around and NO DIETING. Just removing the sugar. That is a remarkable loss for such a short amount of time. My weight has been up and down after the births of the kids and NEVER have I gotten it down so low. I just was never able to, after huffing and puffing on the treadmill and staying away from carbs and fat. None of it worked, and I was always hungry, which made me think about food more. Which was why I could never stick with it.

Losing that weight was actually, when I think about it....... Bloody easy.

So think twice before you balk at me for doing this.

You can follow David Gillespie's Sweet Poison Fan Page on Facebook here.

Easy Gluten Free and Sugar Free Banana Muffins

2011-09-17T10:21:00.002+08:00

These are not Fructose Free because it contains banana. But as per the Sweet Poison books, you are allowed 1-2 small servings of whole fruit daily. Have your dose of fruit from one of these muffins. You can't eat the lot because you will go over your fruit quota!

They are delicious. Even better straight from the oven! My kids love them.

1 egg
1 cup mashed banana
2 tblspn vegetable oil
1/2 cup full fat natural yoghurt
11/4 Gluten Free Self Raising Flour
1 tspn cinnamon

Chuck it all into a bowl and mix.

Bake in a moderate oven until brown. About 10 minutes. Makes Approx 10 muffins.

Can a Coeliac be Sugar Free? Becoming Sugar Aware.

2011-09-06T20:19:00.001+08:00

A few months ago, I started following the Sweet Poison Facebook page and became instantly engaged. I wanted to know more. I bought both of David Gillespie's Sweet Poison Books last week. What happened next had me very surprised.

Sugar is bad. mmmmmmKAY. Image Credit

Some background
If you are new to the theories introduced by the Sweet Poison books, the following excerpt from The Sweet Poison Quit Plan explains it in simple terms:

" Sugar makes you fat. It is converted directly to fat by your liver and it destroys your appetite control so that you want to eat more of everything. The more sugar you eat, the fatter you will be".

Fructose is the bad part of sugar that we need to avoid.

Breaking the Habit
My brain was buzzing after I had read the books. There was so much that I had been eating, thinking they were healthier for me. There were choices I was making for my children, thinking it was better for them. Turns out I had most of it wrong. I was fuming, strangely enough. I had been fed all the wrong stuff and I was sufficiently pissed off.

I thought FAT was the bad guy. Not sugar.
I eat dried apricots by the truck load. Turns out eating chocolate bars might have been just as healthy.
I had heard of fructose and thought it was good!

I needed to break my sugar addiction. To do this I needed to withdraw.

The Issues
At first I wasn't sure how I would go eliminating sugar from my diet. Having Coeliac Disease means that I already follow a very strict diet. I was about to make life very difficult.

Breakfast is the hardest meal. I normally tuck into a bowl of Carman's Gluten Free Cereal and remove all the fruit anyway (because I hate it and there is too much of it in there). Even if I continue to remove the fruit, the product still has added FRUCTOSE (AHHH!) and honey (bad). I have had Coeliac disease for some 8 years and it is the only Gluten Free cereal that I can stomach and don't have to chew on for 5 hours to be able to swallow it. Saying goodbye is going to be hard.

Another food I have a big problem with is bread. It's taken some 8 years to find a nice Gluten Free bread. Zehnders Gluten Free Pumpkin bread has added sugar. Not enough to make it sweet to taste, but sugar is sugar. I inspect other gluten free breads and they are all very similar. Added sugar. I cannot make my own bread. It's too hard and I have tried before. There is no point switching brands because they taste gross to me and they also have sugar. I could cry. I am not sure if I can continue not to eat this going forward without withering away into nothing. I might need to change the name of this blog to "This is Nobody".

The Withdrawal
I am now at Day 5 of the withdrawal. The last few days have felt as though I have climbed the walls looking for something to satisfy me. The desire for sweet tastes are overwhelming. David advises to do the artificial sweetener thing if you are going nuts. I have had to pop the tops off a few Coke Zero's. It's not something I regularly drink, but at the moment I really need it to get me through.

No sugar means no yummy sweet squishy dried apricots which I used to stuff into my gob with gusto (because I thought they were good for me). I miss them.

It means no baking yummy pikelets and scoffing them hot off the pan. This is hard for me because I love to bake.

I feel like I can't get any satifaction from my food. I don't feel like Taryn. I feel a bit odd. My brain feels slightly muddled. I am irritable and cranky and I find myself very hungry. Since I can't have the sugar, I have been eating a lot more fat than usual. I have been frying off Haloumi cheese and Italian sausage (OMG delicious). Potato chips. Roast potatoes. Nuts. Rice cooked with a bit of butter.

I think having Coeliac disease has helped me in a way. I am used to saying NO to food. I am used to reading ingredient labels. It's just another thing to look out for.

So we are doing ok so far... just approach me with caution!

How I Got The Kids To Sleep In

2011-09-01T15:49:00.001+08:00

My 3 year old son has always been an early riser. Sometimes as early as 4.45am, he was always this way, ever since he was a baby. My daughter (nearly 5) is not as bad but once the boy is awake, she usually wakes shortly thereafter.
My neighbour has probably heard me screaming, on more than 5681 occassions..... WHATTHEHECGOBACKTOBEDITSTOOEARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a hard task waking that early every single day, when your body just wants to drag itself back to bed. I gotta say, after a while you just get used to it and harden the f*ck up. I have done pretty much everything to fix this problem. Nothing ever worked.

By the time 9am comes around, you are ready for a snooze. You've done all your jobs and you collapse in a heap and fall asleep, drooling on the sofa.

But we have these troubles no more.

It is my ONE success story as a mother. One which I happened to stumble across by accident.

Recently my husband took a break from lifting heavy things and bought a fish tank with cute little fishies and some plants. He bought a light, which I assume is to keep the plants alive. He bought a timer and set it to be on 12 hours a day. It turns itself on and off.

It was shortly after this, I discovered we were onto a winner.

The light came on at 6am. Then that A-HA moment came.

I said to the kids "If the fish tank light IS NOT ON when you wake, go back to bed. It's too early"

To my surprise they listened. The next day I heard footsteps at all hours 3am, 4am, 5.30am. They came to check if the light was on. It was not. They went back to bed. They wandered into our room at 6am.

HOORAY. THEY ARE SLEEPING IN. IT'S WORKING!! OMG!! CHUCK A PARTY!!!!!. So I wised up. Whispered to hubby to change the timer so the light came on at 6.45am to give us even more of a sleep in. They didn't notice our little switcheroo.

Success. The little man sleeps to 7.30am one morning. This never happens.

So there you go, just buy a timer and set random lights on. It worked for us. Maybe it can work for you too.

On the weekends we set the timer to turn the light on at 8.00am. *Insert evil laugh here*.

Perth Digital Parent Bloggers Catch Up

2011-08-30T12:33:00.004+08:00

You may recall we had the first Perth Bloggie Meet Up some months ago which was a huge success. By 'huge', I mean everyone had a great time and we all got a little bit drunk.

On the weekend we had our second function. We opted for a dinner event at a lovely Chinese Restaurant in the city.

It was a low key affair. We drank some chocolate milk and we were at home in bed by 9.30pm.

hahahaha. Errrrr. No.

Georgia at Parental Parody was so keen she rocked up 30 minutes early. She was lucky enough to have her hubby drop her off during a dull moment on the Rugby. Personally, I think she was just dying to get out of the house and get her wine on! hehe. I was early too, by some 15 minutes. This is because I have the Early Disease, which is a debilitating genetic condition. We also showed our excellent taste in wine, by bringing exactly the same bottle.

Mandi and I briefed the waitress on our mind numbing list of dietary requirements. Some half an hour later after intense discussions, I was feeling pretty sorry for our poor waitress. With my gluten free needs and Mandi's requirement for a Citrus and Pineapple free meal (I know. Unusual huh?), the waitress returned exhuberant, with our food. She had successfully navigated the battlefield of our table's food intolerances, and we were hoping the chef had also. He must have. The food was great and I didn't get sick. Let's not forget Rachel and her Vegetarianism. I have never seen so many special dietary requirements on one table. What a special bunch we are!

Colin and Rachel

Mich and Georgia

Me, Mandi, Colin and Rachel. My hair was sporting Super Boofiness for the occasion.

So we talked about blogs and blogging and more blogs and blogging and Twitter and Tweeting. We finished dinner and went in search of a bar in which to continue the fun. Where we talked about blogs, blogging and .....comment trolls. EWWWWWW.

Georgia, me and Rachel

Me and Rachel

Rachel and Colin

It really was a great night. Thankyou to Brenda at Digital Parents for the lovely bottles of champagne.

We are currently in the process of organising some exciting events for the Perth Digital Parents branch. To keep in touch with all the goings on be sure to join our Facebook page. You won't want to miss the next one!

Warning. A Fashion Post. "Colour Blocking" Can be Hazardous.

2011-08-21T10:29:00.004+08:00

At the beginning of the year, I resolved to be a bit more fashionable. With the birth of 3 children behind me and no plans for anymore *crosses fingers*, I chucked all my daggy maternity clothes on the floor and did a celebratory dance, rejoicing the end of the "being pregnant era".

The Colour Blocking fashion that is all the rage at the moment had me buzzing with excitement. I love me a bit of colour and I really do hate black. If you haven't been living in outerspace in a bright yellow hessian sack, you would know that the Colour Blocking trend is when you wear bright colours and give the middle finger to the notion that your clothes should be matching. So you might be sporting some bright coloured jeans and a contrasting colour top. Say yellow jeans and a hot pink top. For example.

As a big ASOS shopper (it changed my life) I noticed a pair of PETITE (yeehah) coloured skinny pink jeans for the pricely sum of around $19 Australian Dollars with free delivery. I popped these on yesterday with a blue top. I took the kids for a walk. I noticed the traffic slowed as it past me. Ok. That's weird.

I mentioned this to husband. I think these hot pink jeans were gaining some unwanted stares. I was feeling a bit OUT THERE and a little SELF CONSCIOUS by this stage. Before leaving the house, I felt like I was Totally-Owning-These-Hot-Pink-Skinny-Jeans-Matched-With-A-Blue-Top. Could I be wrong? Maybe my neighbourhood is not ready for Colour Blocking. Maybe I just look stupid. Maybe I am a fashion victim. Maybe THEY are they daggy ones?

Husband assured me I looked fine. We went out for lunch. He said "People are staring at your pants!". OH MY GOD. It's not just me.

So I got home feeling all weirded out. The world is not ready for me, a mother of 3 small children to be wearing brightly coloured pants.

Ok. This is me. With THE OUTFIT. Ok. There is a little bit of belt action here but if I don't wear one, the jeans will be at my ankles rather than solidly located at my hips.

I had my husband take a pic when we got home. Because I wanted to ask. DO I LOOK SILLY!!? WHAT DO YOU THINK? BE HONEST. I CAN TAKE IT!

The Ten Signs That Tell You, You're a Short Arse

2011-08-10T19:20:00.003+08:00

I am short. No scrap that. I am really short. 152cm in fact. So yeah. I am pretty qualified to speak on this topic I reckon. I'll launch straight into it.

1. You go to Coles and you need something on the top shelf. But you are too short to reach it. You do the "jump and grab" trick but you fail. Dismally. Scared someone will ACTUALLY SEE YOU DO THIS, you decide to wait discretely in the aisle, for someone taller than you to walk past. So you can smile at them and ask them to get it for you.

2. You buy a pair of jeans. They fit great. Awesome! But you need them adjusted and approximately half of the length needs to be cut off. This completely changes the look of the jean. You can't return them because you performed a drastic disection. You end up throwing them in the back of the closet and giving them to the Salvos some 7 years later.

3. You buy shorts. They are Capri's on you. You buy a maxi dress. You've unwillingly bought a parachute.

The Lifesaver. Every Short Person Has one (or 15)

4. You get asked for ID when you go to a licensed venue. Even though your Drivers License clearly states that you are 33 years old.

5. A salesperson comes to the door and asks if "Your Mum is Home?".

6. You put on 1kg. You've changed a dress size.

7. The drivers seat in the car is yanked up as high as it will go. Your husband smacks his head on the roof of the car everytime he gets in (and curses loudly).

8. You love wedges, heels, platforms and anything with a bit of height to give the illusion that you are at least of "average height".

9. You can't dust all those "high up" places, and you know they need doing but you ignore those jobs permanently because you are too short to manage it by yourself. And oh. What an excellent excuse.

10. Your most prized possession is a step ladder which you keep in your pantry. Because you can't reach the cereal boxes at the top of the pantry without it.

Easy Gluten Free Gingerbread

2011-08-05T13:26:00.001+08:00

I have been playing with different Gluten Free Gingerbread recipes here in the Taryn Test Kitchen, and OH BOY have we had a few disasters. My first batch came out very dry and pale looking. It's not a good look when your visitors come over for a coffee and leave with a bit of gingerbread stuck to the top of the inside of their mouth. Urggggh. (Don't worry this post has a happy ending)

The below recipe is truly fabulous. It doesn't have many ingredients and they are easy to make. They have an excellent taste and texture (which is a rare combo when cooking gluten free). It is also EGG FREE.

I originally got this recipe from HERE and changed it a bit. Here is my version. I hope you enjoy.

Ingredients
60 grms of unsalted butter
160 ml or 2/3 cup of golden syrup
2 cups of gluten free plain all purpose flour, plus a little bit more on standby
1 1/2 tsp ground ginger
1 1/2 tsp mixed spice
2 tsp xanthan gum

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees and line three baking trays with baking paper. Place the butter and golden syrup in a saucepan and stir over heat until the butter has melted. Then bring it to the boil and remove from heat. Leave to cool for 15 minutes.

In a mixing bowl, sift the flour, spices and xanthan gum together. The xanthan gum just helps to bind the mix together.

Add the syrup mixture to the flour and combine with a spoon. Keep your eye on the dough. You may need to add extra flour if it is too sticky. If your dough is too sticky it will stick to your bench and be hard to roll.

Knead the dough on a gluten-free floured surface and it should become lovely and velvety. Roll the dough out with a rolling pin, about 1cm in thickness, and cut into shapes.

Place evenly on your lined baking trays,. These will spread a bit during baking so give each one room. Place in the hot oven for 5 mins or until they are just baked. If they get too much colour on them, your gingerbread will be very bitter. Try and avoid any colour for best results. You will need to keep your eye on them.

You can ice these or leave for the kids to decorate. But I think they are just delicious plain.

Nom

The Art of Procrastination

2011-08-02T13:37:00.001+08:00

Three and a half years ago, when I was heavily pregnant with Harry I decided it was about time I gave our newish leather lounges a good clean and condition. According to the manufacturer, this needs to be done every 6 months. We had the lounges for just over a year and I hadn't done it yet. Sure I had wiped it over now and again in response to sticky fingers and the like, but it had never had a decent clean.

I got all the cleaning stuff I needed out of the laundry cupboard to complete the task. The moment came and went. Something else got in the way and I didn't get to do it. The cleaning stuff sat on the kitchen bench for the following few days looking at me saying "Hello! Remember us?" and soon I decided to put them back away because it was making the place look untidy.

Every day for 3 and a half years I have sat on our couch and thought "I need to give this a good clean".But I never get to it. Numerous times over the past few years I have followed the same ritual of getting all the cleaning stuff out of the laundry. Never getting the job done and then putting it back away.

mmmm. Smooth and shiny. FINALLY

So now. After three and a half years (and two babies) since I originally set about completing the job. It is FINALLY DONE!
I cleaned them. I conditioned them. It took 20 minutes to do the job. But it took 3 days worth of actually THINKING ABOUT DOING IT.

What a waste of time.

I'm going to get these silly jobs done in my house and spend less time thinking about doing them.

It really is just mind over matter.

What are you procrastinating about?

Out of the Mouth of Babes

2011-07-26T18:37:00.002+08:00

My little girl is back to Kindy tomorrow.

I wanted to share something from her Portfolio with you. I am sure she won't mind.

Yes. Portfolio. I was shocked to discover that 4 year old Kindy kids have a work "Portfolio". It is filled with wonderful drawings, minor assessments, recollections and photos. Yes. PHOTOS OF THE KIDS. I was amazed at the attention to detail that had gone into it. Teachers these days are amazing. When I was at Kindy, you were classified as "above average" if you could go to the toilet and wipe your own bum. Or play in the sandpit without eating the sand. Or wipe that green snot coming out of your nose.

This piece always gives me a giggle....

Guest Post - Unexpected Fatherly Moments

2011-07-22T19:14:00.003+08:00

I'm a bit excited today. I have a guest poster. My first would you believe?

My friend Tork from Torkona is a guest poster today. He has just become a father. He asked for a topic to write about. I thought that was a bit weird because most bloggers I know have ideas literally seeping out of their pores. But being a new parent kind of does that to you. All of a sudden your life is turned upside down, and you find yourself having trouble putting your underpants on the right way. Or maybe that's just me.

So I asked him to post about Unexpected Fatherly Moments. Because lord knows I have had lots of unexpected moments as a mother.

He asks some interesting questions of us as parents and leaves us something to think about. I have learnt first aid and done multiple refreshers. Perhaps it's time for your refresher?

Here 'tis

- - - - - -

When I decided to guest post for Taryn, it was prior to the most eventful time in my life. This post was going to be a chuckle, a laugh for you, her readers. Now, the most unexpected of fatherly moments happens.

My infant baby boy has trouble breathing.

My wife and I ring an ambulance when he stops.

We’re told he has vocal cord palsy. Talk about unexpected moments!

Vocal Cord Palsy is where he vocal cords do not move. They can be both of the cords or just one. My boy, one doesn't move and the other sort of does. But, he's been making all new noises lately, and I really think that he doesnt have it.

Anyway, it is treated with careful feeding with thickened formula to prevent spilling. If it is more serious, and he has trouble feeding, a tube down the throat is required to feed. He is also on Oxygen to make sure he gets all the O2 he needs, as his breathing is restricted.

In Adelaide, the respiratory team sees it once every 6 years or so. Usually they just grow out of it and it just comes good, but there's 10% chance it will last for many years. Here's hoping he's all good, cos I think he is going great now.

Time will tell though, as I am not the doctors...

But, he's always smiling and giggling. He's pretty much a normal baby boy otherwise.

He’ll be right, but I wanted to let you all know to expect the unexpected. Be prepared in your house with your kids for the worst. Learn first aid.

I’m certain that you’ll never have anything to worry about like we did, and I certainly don’t want you to start cotton-balling your kids! But what would you do at your most unexpected?

Would you be able to afford time off work to care for your sick child?

Something to think about and I’m glad to get the message out in this post.

Now, even though my life has been a wee bite crazy, I’m certainly going to keep on bloggin’! And there’s always going to be laughs wherever I go! No matter how tough things can get. I’m a new Dad and I am certainly going to be expecting a lot more unexpected (but hilarious) fatherly moments.

So here’s my unexpected moment for you. A Panda on a rocking horse!

Thanks to Taryn for letting me take over her blog :-)

- - - - -

Thankyou for that post Tork. And errr. Thankyou for that image. I totally wasn't expecting that. I hope the situation with your boy improves soon. I can not even imagine what you must be going through.

Torkona is a recently new father who blogs for his boy, as well as helping others with blog tips, inspiring posts and humour.

Hooray for Skinny!

2011-07-08T19:40:00.000+08:00

I have a very important announcement to make.

I have lost some weight.

3kg to be exact. I know. It's not that much. But I am only 152cm. So really that's a lot for me. This gets me down to my Honeymoon weight.

Yes. I am as skinny as I was when I was on my honeymoon. Mind you there are a few more stretch marks and lumps and bumps on my body now than there was back then. Being pregnant 3 times over kinda does that to you.

Anyway it doesn't matter.

I am skinny.

It is the silver lining of spending 2 weeks IN HELL getting to better know my toilet. Turns out my body doesn't like Penicillin antibiotics.

Actually I would prefer to be morbidly obese than to live the last 2 weeks of my life again. Just horrible.

But at least I'm skinny again. For a short while anyway.

These Days....

2011-06-28T19:59:00.001+08:00

...are slowly disappearing.

Having them home. All together. Watching them play.

Days of changing out of our pyjamas at 10am, or maybe even not at all.

Making cakes. Watching movies. Playing outside, riding bikes. Doing craft (getting it all over the floor). Play Doh fun all the hours of the day.

Staying at home. Having no place we need to go.

Those days are coming to an end. Next year we will have to leave the house every week day for school drop off and pick up *gasp*. This will now involve more than one child. No more lazy days snuggling on the couch grabbing my babies. Squeezing them so tightly as they gasp for air.

They are growing so fast and I can't quite believe it.

We will have the weekends. But it's not the same.

Maybe I'm just a tad sentimental.

When they were all born, I was shocked about how much of me they had absorbed. Struggling to keep my sense of self, I yearn for time to myself. I still do.

And now they are leaving, I am staring ME TIME face to face, eye to eye and I got to say. I don't want it.

How shortlived these early years are. I am thankful of every minute I got to have them here with me. I'm certainly making the most out of the rest of this year. To enjoy being at home. Not having to be anywhere. Just being with them. Being us.

It's a strange life...Motherhood.

A new chapter awaits.

I Went on a Holiday to Melbourne and a Volcanic Ash Cloud Pissed Me Off.

2011-06-17T20:52:00.002+08:00

I woke crying in the middle of the night. Husband wakes "What's wrong. Are you ok?".

"Perfff Perfff blahh pllhhet" is all I can manage. I drool.

I dreamt there was a problem with our flights. God I am such a hypersensitive idiot. I need to relax.

__

I have been beside myself with excitement. Pee my pants excitement here people. We (some friends and I) had a trip to Melbourne planned to catch up with a few friends. For me, the excitement was threefold.

1. No person sharing the same genetic makeup as me would be joining me on the trip.
2. I had not taken a real holiday since the kids joined us in our life. Ok, well yes we have had the odd holiday with the kids but I am still adamant that this is not a holiday, rather just a change of scenery.
3. Shopping will be involved.

We have an early flight out of Perth on Thursday. I re-familiarise myself with air travel. God it really has been ages. I have not been up for the challenge of taking the children on a flight. At this stage I think it can be a bit more than my patience can handle.

We arrive. We eat ice cream. We drink champagne. We shop. We laugh. We pay $15 for a bottle of water at an exclusive Melbourne restaurant. We see the same item at a Deli for $1.50. We laugh some more. We gamble. We win (not me). We lose (me). We eat Macarons. We tram it. Train it. We walk it (or dawdle if we are talking about me). We eat at an Indian restaurant filled with lots of Indians (always a good sign). We eat yummy homemade pizza.

We had lots of fun. But it was time to get home. Our flight was due to leave 8.30pm Melbourne on the following Sunday. I would really hate to admit this but I was missing the kids and their father. *ahem*.

But wait. Oh no. Our flight is cancelled because of the Volcanic ash spewing out of some you know. VOLCANO. A WHAT? A VOLCANO HALF THE WORLD AWAY. Can you believe it? I never travel. I haven't in ages. And this ONE time. THIS ONE TIME WHEN I REALLY NEED TO GET HOME TO CARE FOR MY CHILDREN, OUR FLIGHT IS CANCELLED. Damn you Chilean Volcano. KISS MY BUMCRACK.

There are tears. Ok. Mostly mine. Next flight outa MEL is 2 nights away! TWO NIGHTS! WTF! The injustice!

It was then back at our hotel when I had an amazing sense of Deja-Vu. I dreamt this, about our flights. Bloody stupid half psychic person I am.

So we had an extended holiday in Melbourne. We finally get home. I was excited to see the kids.

I get home. I hold them. I squeeze them. I vow never to leave them ever again.

Then it started. "I'm hungry". "I want something else" "I want Play Doh" "Wipe my bum" "I don't wanna have a bath!" "Googoo GAGA".

It was like I never left.

*I am not psychic. Nor even half psychic. Psycho might be a little more accurate however.

** This post is brought to you by the letter M for Mum. M for Mother-In-Law and H for Husband. Who all chipped in to help out when I was away. THANKYOU x

Date Night

2011-06-05T21:00:00.004+08:00

Husband and I went out on a date to the movies last night.

At first I was a little disappointed. This means I have to change out of my Kmart tracksuit at some point and get myself looking less like a bogan.

Husband and I recently celebrated our 8th Wedding Anniversary. When I say "celebrated", I mean we did nothing. We have known each other a long time. I think it would be safe to say that the romance is dying.

I say this because we spent most of our date engaging with our iPhones. I end up Tweeting how suckie my date is. He ends up mesmerized by his new Predators iPhone game.

It was a crappy date. I resolve that he is a bad catch for not talking with me. He is too self absorbed for me to see him anymore. Oh sh*t. Too late. We're married already.

I must point out that the highlight of the date was seeing a young lady, visibly happy to be wearing her Jeggings with a pair of fluffy slippers. She teamed this ensemble with a serious affliction of Visible Panty Line. I was disgusted. Seems not many people get dressed up for the movies anymore.

This makes me cranky.

I didn't need to change out of my tracksuit after all. I could have stayed in them. I mean, I am pretty sure Husband didn't notice what I was wearing anyway.

But seriously Hangover 2 was very funny, go and see it if you can. I loved it. It kind of made up for the dodgy company.

Next time we'll leave the phones at home!

OMG This Blog Looks F*cking Awesome

2011-06-02T19:39:00.001+08:00

It totally does, right?

Welcome to the new look This is Taryn. It was definitely time for a change. The old design had to go. That lady who was juggling all those things in the air? Remember her? Well she was starting to give me the sh*ts. Her image was everywhere in the interwebz and I was kinda getting sick of running into her all the time on other Mummy Blogs. Urgh. Unique? Definitely not.

Here is a new look that I am OH MY GOD SO IN LOVE WITH RIGHT NOW.

I would like to give a big sloppy kiss to my friend Sass from MooZoo Designs who designed this whole thing.

She is an uber talented cool chickadee that put up with my endless changes and didn't complain once. Not once. I even offered her the chance to beat me about the head with a blunt object and she so kindly declined.

She has a few pre made templates that are currently FREE. YEAH FREE. Just click on the link above.

So with this new pretty design I have a renewed dedication to post more frequently on this blog *ahem*. Even maybe VLOG. Oh my. Well that is scary.

Fremantle Hates Me

2011-05-19T19:23:00.003+08:00

I have a strong dislike for Fremantle. **

I'm not talking about their football team. Although I do have a strong dislike for them also. I'm talking about the area of Fremantle. Bad things happen when I go there, and now after so many years of bad stuff happening, we just try and stay away. I fear that something VERY TERRIBLE will happen if we do not head the warnings it has issued us thus far. We would be silly not to.

Let me give you just a few examples.

When I was at University. A Very Long Time Ago. I asked my boyfriend at the time (my now husband) to pick me up from the corner of So and So in Fremantle. I waited some three hours. He couldn't find it. Mind you he didn't have a road map in his car so there is a strong element of male stupidity present in this example. He drove around for 3 hours, weaving in and out of all the streets. I was right in the middle of town, waving my hands in the air like I had just won Bingo at the Senior's Club. He didn't see me. Needless to say I had a bad case of the crankies after this incident.

A lovely dinner with friends one evening turned into utter hell. A drunken idiot literally ran out of a nightclub and onto our moving vehicle. He had stolen a slippery when wet sign. The sheer sound of his body slamming onto the windscreen of our little Hyundai and thumping over the roof of the car had us shitting ourselves. Luckily he was ok. He was very lucky to not have hit his head on a curb and DIE. We had to pay all the costs of getting the car back on the road. All he had to deal with was a hangover and an extreme case of Donk Head.

About a year later in exactly the SAME SPOT another drunken idiot literally runs into our car and begs us to run him over. But luckily we averted disaster this time and Number 2 Drunken Idiot was untouched.

There have been other incidents of missing parking tickets, assorted dramas of miscellaneous description, excessive drunkenness on friends boats, not being able to get home, flat car batteries. The list goes on and on..blah blah.

A few Sunday's ago we decided to visit Fremantle for an icecream. It is a long way to go for an icecream but it was a great day for a drive. Fremantle is a lovely place to visit during the day. On our way home I mention to Husband that we seemed to have made it out of Fremantle without anything going wrong.

Ahh. Yes. The curse has been lifted.

The next day I go to grab the stroller out of the car to go for a walk. It's not there. Good lord, where is it?.

We left it there.

Yes. We left the stroller on the side of the road in Fremantle.

We are never visiting again.

** Fremantle is a port city in Metro Perth. If you ask anyone who lives there how far Freo is from the city they will tell you 10 minutes. They are lying. Fremantle inhabitants are highly delusional. Takes more like 20 minutes and that is without the traffic, and because there is ALWAYS traffic on the Freeway it will take you approximately 5 hours to get there.

My First Ever Bloggie Meet Up

2011-05-07T20:04:00.003+08:00

I nearly peed my pants several times last week. I have been super excited to meet up with some AMAZINGLY talented and awesome bloggers that live in Perth. In, ya know. Australia.

Last night was a fabulous night hosted by Nuffnang and Digital Parents (Previously Aussie Mummy Bloggers).

I took many photos. Just for the purpose of humiliating everyone on my blog. No really. Let's get the pictures to tell the story shall we? I am too hung over to write anything intelligent at the mo. Despite eating everything in my fridge in a desperate attempt to ease the pain, there is still that faint knocking sensation going on in my brain.

Let me just say that all of these people are just as amazing in real life. They are the real deal. Honest and amazing people. Who know how to party.

Me with Glowless and Kirsty

Chuffed to meet the owners of some of the first blogs I followed. Christie and Sarah. Beautiful girls.

Colin (The Associate Woman). Super Awesome Organiser Person. I helped. A bit. *ahem*

The lovely Rachel

Champagne is just flowing too easily! Love it! From left to right. Glowless, Lynda from Nuffnang and Kim

Left to right. Fussy Eaters Mum, Glowless, Colin, Felicia, Adam, Rachel

Christie and Gill

Rebecca and me

Just chillin out. Or is it passed out? Hmmmm

Left to Right. Jodi, Mandy and Missyboo

Err this is ummm Colin. I'm not sure what he is doing.

We had a great time. The party was getting started. And then? They kicked us out! It's not even 10pm!? WTF! Sorry I know I don't get out much, but when I used to have a life, we LEFT THE HOUSE AT 10pm. Good lord! This was unacceptable. So the party kept going.

Left to right. Parental Parody. Glowless and me. Missyboo was so kind to drop us off to the next event. PP and I gatecrashed a party that Glowless was invited to. I have never ever done that before. Ever. No really. I haven't. Oh THE SHAME . The host, F, was very charming and welcomed us into his fabulous party and gave us alcohol. I like him very much. Thankyou F for being ever so gracious.

Then my phone rang at 12am. Husband was distressed. Little Tilly had been awake for a few hours and he was having a sh*t of a time gettting her back to sleep. So I had to leave. Grabbed a taxi and got home to this. No one administers THE BOTTLE quite like the MUM. GRRRRR.

Thanks Mum. Nice to see you.

It was so great to meet everyone. Thankyou so much to all the sponsors. Can't wait to see you all again at the next event.

Today I Chucked a Mummy Mental

2011-04-25T13:04:00.003+08:00

Kids have tantrums. Mum's have the equivalent. It's called a Mummy Mental. I am sure you have either witnessed one of these acts in progress or been the bearer of a Mummy Mental.

We had a rather ~~crap~~ interesting Easter Sunday. We are all recovering from Bronchilititis and I was feeling spectacularly sh*thouse after taking two Nurofen Cold and Flu. That stuff used to be the shiz for me. It used worked a treat. I don't know what happened but now it has me passing out with tiredness and drooling like a teething child. Drowsy much? Totally.

This morning I told the children to go outside and eat their chocolate. There are bags of the stuff. My approach when it comes to Easter is to eat it all NOW. Eat it quick and be done with it. I don't want to see it anymore. I don't want to be picking up goddamn foil wrappers for the next 6 months. It's like limiting the damage. It's a shit few days but you get over it and I go back to being a chocolate stingy for the other 362 days of the year.

I went to change a nappy or something. Turn my back for 2 minutes. I look around. There is chocolate everywhere. Smudged on the lounge. Half chewed and spat out chocolate on the floor. The bi-fold windows which get cleaned every 12 months or when we just can't see out of them anymore (which ever comes first), had smears of chocolate all over them. I cleaned them 2 days ago. NOT HAPPY. I hate cleaning. Make me clean unnecessarily and I will be pissed. There is no turning back.

The Mummy Mental was brewing, my eyes glaze over. I start to shake. And then it unleashed.

It goes something like this "AHHHHHHH GRRRRRR HISSSSSSSSSS RAANNNNNTTT" I try not to swear in front of the children but this is a difficult task when I have my cranky pants on.

Now the Mummy Mental occurs when the Shit-I-Can-Handle spectrum reaches complete f*cking overload and the little ticker launches into outerspace. Seeing chocolate smudged in all forms all over my clean house is about as much as I can handle.

The Mummy Mental has the children begging for mercy and screaming that I LOVE YOU MUMMM!!!!! It is a force to be reckoned with. The only way to turn it off is to leave the house. Eat very badly. Knock down a bottle of Vodka. Scream at your husband or take a long shower.

So I took a shower. Yelled at my husband and ate some waffles drowning in Maple Syrup. Or did I eat Maple Syrup drowning in waffles. Not sure. I felt better. And the Shit-I-Can-Handle spectrum was reset and normality returned.

This is not me. This is another Mother having a Mummy Mental. Or so she thinks. This is not a Mummy Mental, rather a mild case of the shits (she looks too good and her face isn't red from screaming).

Easter Madness and The Adventures of Craptastic Chocolate

2011-04-12T09:01:00.003+08:00

Easter in this house sucks the Easter Bunny's gout infested right foot.

It sucks due to the following equation:

Chocolate + Small Children = Extreme Feralness

I see you nod your head in agreeance. No?

Now. Easter f*ck-up-ed-ness continues with the following equation:

Aussie Easter + Orthodox Easter = Shitload of chocolate = Me, wondering what the hell I am going to do with it all.

Ok so technically that wasn't an equation. From my limited knowledge of mathematics, you cannot have two equal signs in an equation. Apparently.

Most years we partake in TWO EASTERS. Yes, we have not one. But Two. Easters. Normal Easter like you guys and then because my family is Greek, we celebrate Orthodox Easter which mostly falls on a different day. Lets call it the Festival of Easter. It's exhausting. Because we are presented twice in one year with the presence of feral children, an abundance of chocolate and Craptastic Chocolate. What is Craptastic chocolate I hear you say? Glad you asked. Let me clarify.

Craptastic Chocolate (or CC as it is affectionately called in our household) can be defined as edible confectionary that looks like chocolate, but when you eat it, tastes like sh*t. Traditionally, Craptastic Chocolate is a brand of chocolate which is NOT Cadbury, Red Tulip, Nestle or Lindt. It's THOSE other brands that have been sneaked onto the shelves.

This shiz is nasty.

I was at Woolies yesterday and the lady in front of me appears to have done her entire Easter Shop in one go. And good on you for being all organised and stuff. It was all Craptastic Chocolate. Down to the last itty bitty small Easter Eggie. All crap.

So it got me wondering as it does, my brain is a small place but when it gets its rant on, there's just is no stopping it.

Does she like Craptastic chocolate? Can she not tell the difference? Does she buy it because it is cheap? Has she not realised the error? Was she wooed by the elaborate packaging of Craptastic Chocolate to distract from its disgusting-ness? I just cannot understand why anyone would buy it, when it tastes bloody horrible. Life is too short people to be eating chocolate that lingers in your mouth 5 days after the initial consumption.

Now while I have my ranty pants on I would like to state the following.

Why does Easter Chocolate (not just Craptastic Chocolate) have such a limited expiry on it. The stuff only lasts until June. If you're lucky. That is f*cked up right there. When do they make this shit? Easter last year? WTF. The stuff doesn't last. If it did you would have the entire years worth of chocolate consumption covered by Easter. Chocolate companies know this and that is why they only last a few months. They want you to throw it out or stuff it down your gob as quick as you can, so you can go get some fresh stuff. A*seholes.

Am I missing anything? What do you hate about Easter? Because there is nothing to love. Surely?

The First Born Story

2011-04-03T12:27:00.014+08:00

September 2006

"I DON'T CARE JUST GET IT OOOOUUUUT OF MEEEEE!!! NOW!"

I was 41 weeks pregnant with my first child, lying in the Observation Room at the local hospital. I had come in to be induced the night before. All had not gone according to plan.

They could not induce me.

I didn't know it but I was already in the early stages of labour. I was hooked up to the Foetal Monitor. My contractions were coming regularly. This was news to me. I couldn't feel them. I just felt normal. Well, I felt oversized, fat, frumpy and ready to explode, but still somewhat "normal". Things were just not progressing.

My pregnancy had been very normal up until then. Taking maternity leave at 32 weeks and sleeping for 9 weeks until the baby arrived was a definite highlight. What I didn't know was that those weeks of sleep, prepared me for the following 4 YEARS of pregnancy and child related sleep deprivation. As I grew closer to my due date, my stomach took on an identity of its own. My body became the human embodiment of an overstuffed free range chook. In addition, I consumed more Choc Milk in nine months than the entire locality of Perth. I was singlehandedly responsible for bringing the supply and demand equation out of balance and, as a consequence the price had risen accordingly. Husband was not impressed.

I had big plans for the birth of my first child. I was opting for a labour as "natural" as totally possible. I may want drugs. I wasn't sure. After all, I had never ejected a small person from my body before. But one thing was for sure. I did not want a Caesarian.

And yet, here I was at 41 weeks begging for one. Anything. Just to get the baby out. We had tried everything. Long waddles around the neighbourhood had me insanely buggered. Hot curries were yummy but were without result. Drinking Raspberry Leaf Tea had me gagging and spewing a bit in my mouth every time.

It was a bit like a nightclub when no one's drunk. Nothing was happening. Things weren't progressing. My doctor recommended a C-Section. He had concerns that the baby was large. He became worried that I may be in labour longer than Delta Goodrem was romantically involved with that twat Brian McFadden. Too long. Labour may end badly with a C-section anyway. I felt I had been pregnant for eternity. It couldn't be over quick enough. I took his advice. I was booked into surgery.

I counted every second. Every minute. Every hour. I was anxious. Jittery. Mostly stabby. There was a delay with the surgery. Another half and hour. Then another. Finally. They wheeled me in.

Ready for my C-Section. Very unimpressed. Luckily you can't see my ass hanging out of the back of this gown

Then there was a significant EPIDURAL FAIL. Also known as "The Horror Story" where someone. ME. Got poked repeatedly with a big f*cking needle. The doctor couldn't find the right "spot"(his words). Retorted with "Are you actually a GODAMN doctor?" (my words). I ended up having a Spinal Block instead which works in a similar way. Things were underway. FINALLY.

And she was born. A little girl. 8 pounds 2 ounces. She was born with a dark mop of hair, and a very olive complexion like her dad.

She cried for three days straight. Then we realised she was hungry and needed to be fed. Oops. Sorry 'bout that.

Fresh as fresh can be. A bit sleepy. Sadly, this wasn't a sign of things to come.

When we got her home she then cried for the best part of 6 weeks. Then we found out she had Reflux. Those were some tough times. But they were shortlived and yes it was hard, but she was happy and healthy and we were ecstatic to have her. A beautiful, milky, smiley little person. A daughter. MY daughter.

Our little family as it was back then.. My hair is unwashed. I have sleep in my eyes. Thankfully you can't tell.

Big Girl is turning 5 this year. She now has a little brother and a baby sister. She is a beautiful and smart little girl with a very healthy appetite. This may be attributed (in part) to encountering starvation in the first few days of life.

We love you Big Girl x

I have entered this post to win an award on Torks Blog. He is an expectant father and an all round cool dude with a hot ass. Good luck with the baby Tork. I have some wise words for you. GET SOME SLEEP.

It's Time for Another WTF. Oranges From Israel? No WAY.

2011-03-30T11:10:00.009+08:00

My kids are big foodies. My daughter once ate 16 plums in one sitting. They were small plums but she did eat all 16 and then she spent the rest of the following day sitting on the toilet. We love our food, the kids are big fruit and vegetable eaters. Lucky me.

As a result, I buy all our fruit and vegetables at our local Greengrocer. Each week I would spend an easy $80 no problems. Buying the same amount at our local Coles would cost in the vacinity of $16,000. Ok. Maybe not. But I do find their Fresh Produce quite expensive. So I do two trips a week. One to the Greengrocer and one to Coles for everything else. Get it. Got it? Good.

So I was at the Fruit and Veg shop aka. The Greengrocer. My boy loves Oranges, so I go to buy some Oranges. Oranges $2.99kg. But wait. The oranges are not local. Not from a local orchard in the south west as you would expect them to be. They are from Israel. I found myself asking WTF. Repeatedly. To myself. It went like this...

"WTF WTF WTF Israel!!!!? These oranges are from Israel? How long did it take to get them here all the way from ISRAEL. They look fresh enough but surely not. No I don't think I can do this. I cannot eat Oranges that grew on a tree so FAR AWAY. It is not right. Not right I tell you. Don't we grow Oranges in Australia? Are they not in season? Can we just do without Oranges until they are actually in season in the place where we live? Are we just such demanding consumers that they have to be imported from freaking Israel? Why are we such spoilt brats? Can't we just hear the word NO. No Oranges for you because they are not in season. I have nothing against Israel, I am sure it is a lovely place, but I will not buy their oranges. Nope. What is the carbon footprint of getting these Oranges into Australia. That's UNBELIEVABLE. What freak would knowingly buy Oranges from Israel. Obviously people do otherwise there would be no demand for them. The world is a screwed up place. The world is a screwed up place....."

My head was spinning. I was perplexed. This happens often. Mostly because I am dumb. Then I quickly absconded off to see if I could find any Nectarines that are YELLOW on the inside and not bloody WHITE. White nectarines are just bloody awful. Never sweet and they look weird and they taste like water. If you're lucky they taste like water mixed with an artificial sweetener. They try to pass them off as normal yellow nectarines. Sure they were fashionable once. But time has moved on. Now they are in plenty supply. But no one wants them. Only the discerning eye can tell the difference between the two varieties.

Ok I'm going off topic.

I thought it might just be the shop I went to. Clearly the fruit shop is smoking Crack. Maybe it's just them. But I went to Woolies yesterday. And sure enough. There was the sign:

Oranges. Place of Origin. Israel.

I screamed. No oranges for us. Until I can find some that grew here.

Am I the only person who feels this way or do I need to seek the professional assistance of a therapist who specialises in Fresh Produce?

*I am sorry if you have bought Oranges from Israel. I called you a freak. Don't take it personally.

**Now I have just realised. I blogged about Oranges. Surely this is a new low. I really do need help.

Bakers Delight $5 Voucher Winners

2011-03-28T20:44:00.008+08:00

Random numbers generated by Random.org here are the winners: Commenter Number 2 Jane, Commenter Number 4 Jenn, Commenter Number 8 Thea, Commenter Number 7 Parental Parody, Commenter Number 5 Fussy Eaters Mum. I will be in contact with you. Thanks for entering! x

Bakers Delight. Keeping Hungry Kids Satisfied and More Time for Meeeeee!

2011-03-21T10:27:00.019+08:00

My kids are always hungry. In fact. If you asked me what I did today, I would say that I spent most of my time staring at the fridge, twirling my hair and wondering "what can I feed them?" . Collectively, their hunger would rival the hungriest of Sumo Wrestlers. Trust me it's exhausting. Finding something healthy for them to eat that will fill their tummy's is important. Not just for nutrition, but so I can limit the number of times I hear "MUM!!!! I want to EAT...... SOMETHING!". Meh

I was thrilled when Bakers Delight asked me to host a morning tea complete with lots of yummy Bakers Delight thingies to eat. Hosting a big morning tea means no one is going to come looking for food for at least a few hours and that gets my vote. Which means I might get some time to jump on Twitter and reach out for humans who don't want me for my food. Heaven.

I grabbed some of my wonderful Mummy Friends and we headed to the park for a big play and a picnic supplied by Bakers Delight and I dished up the yummy food.

I made up some yummy egg and lettuce sandwiches for the Mums with Bakers Delight Hi-Fibre Lo-GI White bread. Which was beautiful and soft. *drool*. To make this mash up some hard boiled eggs with some good quality egg mayo and a pinch of salt. I made some yummy fairy bread for the kids.

Some cheese and bacon rolls. Nom.

Oh food! Yes. We likey!

The fairy bread was a big hit as always, but the crust? Not so much. Mum Fail.

We were meant to receive some sacks for a sack race from the good people at Bakers Delight. Unfortunately they did not arrive on time. A week later after the event, the sacks arrived. Then the next day we got another parcel of sacks. An express post parcel. Which was sent some 3 weeks earlier. Hmmm. Yeah thanks Aussie Post. You suck.

So I found myself with an abundance of sacks so we had a Sack Race at Playgroup last week and the kids had a great time.

On your marks, get set...

Go!

My assistant...They had a great time. Isn't it great being a kid?

It's not about winning, it's about HAVING A GOOD TIME! Remember that when you lose. Ok?

To finish up I have five $5 Bakers Delight vouchers to give away today. To win, just leave a comment below. These are valid until 30th June 2011. I will pick the winners via a random generator on Monday 28th March 2011. Good Luck! x

*Yes I do have Coeliac Disease but my kids don't, and this post is all about them. Ok?

Christmas Comes Twice a Year For Me.

2011-03-16T12:15:00.007+08:00

I get a bit excited around this time of the year. I froth at the mouth and get all jittery and shake with anticipation.

It's when the Coles Gluten Free Food and Healthy Living Expo comes to town for the weekend. This also coincides with Coeliac Awareness Week.

Big deal you say. Fair nuff. But when you have Coeliac Disease and there is a room full of gluten free food to try, test and buy. Well. It's heaven. Because normally I have to issue a standard set of questions about the food I pop in my mouth. Because it can make me very sick.

We tasted some yummy things. We tasted some odd things. Mostly yummy. This year there were lots of things to buy at some great prices. Gluten free food can be expensive, and to buy them you normally have to win lotto or take up a second job as a hooker. So it was great to buy some yummy things cheap.

Here are some things I took away with me.

First up. Mamee Corn Kiks. New on the market. The Coeliac equivalent of Twisties, which are not gluten free. Of course not. These are nom with a capital N. Coles sell them for around $1.50, show price $1. Bargain. My mum bought a WHOLE BOX OF THEM. When I first told my mum about this epic find, she cried tears of joy. Ok. Not really but it was a very happy day.

Mamee Rice Chips are the Coeliac equivalent to Pringles. These are yummy. $2 each. They have flavour on them! Hallelujuh! Chips with flavour! Yum!

Pasta D'Oro is the best gluten free pasta I have found. It tastes the same as the gluten free pasta I ate when we were in Italy in 2005. It is made in Romania. It cooks nicely and can be reheated without disintegrating into slime. The local supermarket sells these 500g packs for $4.50. It was on sale at the expo for under $2. I bought 20 packets which should last the whole year. My pantry is bulging at the seams.

Maybe next year my dream will come true. Gluten Free Milo. I miss Milo. I have nightmares about the day I learned I had Coeliac Disease and could no longer indulge on Milo. It was a sad day. Nesquik is similar and very tasty and I consume swimming pools of it when I am pregnant but it doesn't fill you up like Milo does. I live in hope.

It is Gluten Free Friday on 18th March 2011. Why not try living gluten free for a day and see how we live. Or maybe just stroke us sympathetically and pray to the Nestle Gods to deliver us a gluten free Milo equivalent.

This is our collection of goodies we acquired. Yes that is my daughter underneath all that. She is not fussed, but is concerned for her mother who is now twice the size than she was when she walked in the door.

Yeah we went a bit nuts.

I did say Christmas does come twice a year!

Dear Husband....

2011-03-15T12:07:00.007+08:00

Husband and I. We are 16 here. It is the 90's. Check out the glasses on yours truly. Don't judge me by my PINAFORE. Uggh.

Dear Husband

It was 8 years ago today we were married. Looking at the photos, we both seem so young. 3 kids have aged us considerably. You are skinny. Face shaved. Nice hair cut. Well groomed. Today you are a beefcake thanks to Rucci's Gym. You now have the 'rugged look'. You don't give yourself a close shave. Ever. Now you give yourself a hair cut with the shaver in our bathroom.

My hair is long. Skin tanned. I came THISCLOSE to burning myself to a crisp tanning up for the wedding. There are no wrinkles. A very flat tummy. I long for that flat tummy of yesterday, before three kids stretched it out. Now I kick it along the ground when I walk.

Smiles, smiles everywhere. A wonderful day. A happy day. The best wedding. Ever. A live band. The best food. So much food. 6 courses. A small wedding of 130 people by Greek-Italian standards. Starting our lives together. Moving in. Embarking on life. Renovating our house and extending it. Travelling. Kicking career goals. Having children. Staying at home to raise them.

Tick.

How blessed we are.

8 years ago today. I have known you for 20. We are 33 this year.

Happy Anniversary. x

Now go and pick up your undies off the bathroom floor.

Mixed Bag of Allsorts

2011-02-27T17:59:00.007+08:00

Woops. It's happened again. Too busy living life to document it. This post only makes two posts for the month of February. Blogger FAIL.

Here is a quick update of all things me.

Poppy has settled wonderfully into her Kindy. We are so proud of her. Seeing her excited to get to Kindy and start the day with her class is a real joy. They have started learning the letters of the alphabet. Which is a bit funny because she already knows them. I didn't teach her them, she seems to have learnt them herself over the last few years with all the books and educational toys we have in the home.

Harry seems to be happy to part with her during the day. He is loving being the only speaking child at home during the day with me and little Tilly. He is really loving it. And I am loving it too. We have never really had much time to ourselves Harry and I. Having Poppy and Harry so close in age, things were always so busy with the two of them.

Miss Tilly turned 4 months today. I cannot believe how fast the time has flown by. She is still a wonderful baby. She sleeps well in the night, needing usually only one feed to see her through. She settles right back to sleep so I am happy to do it! During the day she is POSSIBLY THE WORST SLEEPER IN THE WHOLE WORLD. Hello 45 minute cat naps. Blah. Both Poppy and Harry did that and she is just the same. It's just a challenge we are going through and I am not letting it worry me because they all grew out of it. Good news is that she doesn't seem to suffer at all from reflux (the first two had it BAD). She is a beautiful happy baby and we are enjoying relishing her smallness and I really should stop squishing her cheeks and inhaling her smell and get on and do some housework. Yeah. NOPE. Housework can wait until they are all moved out.

Here is a picture of Tilly today. 4 months old. How we loves her so.

All the Australian Mummy Bloggers are off for the very first conference ever in Sydney next month! I am a bit sad that I won't be able to make it because it would truly be fabulous to meet all these lovely ladies (and gents) that I have met online over the past few years. With the children so small and Tilly being tricky during the day it just isn't possible. Perhaps the next one? Wishing you all a fab time. Have a drink for me won't you?

Awesome Parenting 101. Things I Tell My Children

2011-02-11T16:13:00.003+08:00

Are your kids turning into little sh*ts? Is little Johnny driving you bonkers? Have you moved Wine O'Clock to 9am? Would you rather hide from your offspring than spend time with them?

Let me help you. Here is a post where I get to share my extensive parenting wisdom. My methods work. You may find them somewhat unconventional, but I have 4 years experience at this parenting caper and I have 3 of the little rascals. You won't be finding any of my tips in a Parenting Book. These are mostly written by smart arses with PHD's and no practical experience in you know... child rearing. Parenting books are only good for one thing, throwing them at your husband when he is being annoying.

LESSON ONE The Mean Lady

This is her real name. First name Mean. Surname Lady. She is a frightful old woman. She has missing teeth, grey hair, worts on her face with hairs coming out of them. She smells and she doesn't bathe. Her clothes are old and torn. She has boogers in her nose. Bad breath. She has lots of dirty animals and they all poo inside the house and she is very lazy and never cleans it up.

When we are out and about and we smell something a bit yuck I declare "The Mean Lady was here. I can smell her". The kids say "Where is she Mum?" and I tell them she was told to go away. Because she is too horrible to be seen in public.

The Mean Lady is not real. She is a credit to my overactive imagination. I made her up as a way to get my kids to behave. Every week I add another characteristic onto The Mean Lady for good effect and for a little bit of extra drama to keep things exciting!

When my kids are naughty I threaten them with a visit from The Mean Lady. Let me demonstrate. One time Harry (2) would not lay down in his bed to go to sleep. I made a mad dash to the phone to call The Mean Lady. I had a very animated discussion with the dial tone and she arrived shortly after (which was actually me emulating her, the boy couldn't see). He was terrified. "Noooo Mum, NOT THE MEAN LADY!!" The boy lay down and went to sleep. I advised The Mean Lady that we did not need her services today as the boy was now being good. Thankyou Very Much. She was kind enough to leave promptly. *ahem*.

My kids are TERRIFIED of her. When I threaten them with a visit from The Mean Lady they scurry to make things right and IT WORKS. Feel free to steal this method.

LESSON TWO Vegetables

Are your little monkeys not eating their vegetables? Here is the advice you have been waiting for. All here. For free. Yes it is your lucky day. Thank me later.

Again, this method is a little unconventional. Also a little graphic. If you are a delicate little flower you best skip this bit because you aren't going to like it.

Eat Vegetables? No problemo. Tell them if they do not eat them, their poo will get stuck up their bum, for eating vegetables makes your poo come out nice and easy. If your poo gets stuck up your bum then we have to visit the doctor who will stick his hands up there to remove it. You see I haven't really lied to them have I? Just over dramatised it somewhat. A healthy diet does make for good bowel function. If you tell them this they will actually run and get the broccoli out of the fridge and eat it raw.

Don't judge me. I really am an excellent mother. And extremely creative it seems. Hec I just make it up as I go. Who doesn't?

This is not my son but I dare say he needs a visit from The Mean Lady.

What things do you say to your children?

The Stupid Things I do. Number 15678

2011-02-02T12:27:00.010+08:00

Yesterday was the day that I re-asserted my belief that I am an absolute bloody idiot.

My daughter starts kindy tomorrow. You didn't know this until now because I have been sitting in the chair named DENIAL. She is too young to start Kindy. After all, she was only born last week. Right? I have finally accepted that she must go to Kindy and she will go tomorrow with me holding on for dear life.

Yesterday I had to go and pick up her SCHOOL LIST ITEMS. For Kindy. Yes. Kindergarten children now have SCHOOL LISTS. When I was in Kindy all we needed was a few bits of broken crayon and a bucket to muck about in the sandpit. And if your name was Mario you needed a spade so you could hit other kindy kids about the head with it.

Let's rewind back to 3 months ago. The first day home with our little newborn Tilly. In the mail is a letter from the school advising that Poppy has been accepted. Into the PUBLIC SCHOOL. Thank God, what the hell were we going to do if she didn't get in? Send her to a PRIVATE school? There in the envelope is her booklist. If I get online within the next two weeks and order with this Expensive Stationery Supplier, the goods can be delivered to the school. In my post natal bliss, I wasn't ready to deal with this because it seemed so far in the distant future. I thought to myself "Stuff It, I will go elsewhere and get it all cheaper". Stupid me.

So yesterday I left the kids with Mum. I go to Officeworks. Along with 1 million other people. After several failed attempts at finding a spot to put my car, I finally get one. Hurrah. I go inside. There is not a skerrick of stationery left in the whole fucking shop. Fuck. I have to abort mission. I get back to the car. Some looney has parked me in. I have an amazing ability to encounter every inconsiderate asshole in Perth when I leave my house. I manage some highly skilled driving Kamikaze to get my car back onto the road.

I drive to Big W. Not a fricken HB pencil left in the whole bloody joint. Shit. I manage to find the glue she needs. Not crappy Clag glue that we all had at school, but Blu Glu, some fancy pants glue that goes on blue, dries clear. WTF.

Ok so I still have some more things on my list. Let's try Kmart. It's in the same shopping centre. The only thing I can find on the shelves is DUST. Because there is nothing left here either. Shit.

I have been gone 2 hours and still all I have is GLUE. After a cursing session in the car I decide I must get all the missing stuff from The Expensive Place they told me to get it from. I have no choice. There is no stationery of any description left in any shop in metropolitan Perth. I drive there. I select all the goods including a bloody Art Folio and Windy Up Crayons. Why do they need this fancy stuff? Kindy art is only good for the bin after you have praised their excellent efforts. And Windy Up Crayons? Seriously, the kids just wind it up too far and then it snaps rendering it absolutely useless. I go to pay. The queue is so long, I briefly consider stealing this stuff. But no. That would be illegal. The queue is out the door and out the other door. In the carpark. It took half an hour to reach destination Checkout.

I am so depleted. 3 hours of getting all the booklist items. Stupid me wanted to get it cheaper elsewere. And I end up buying it at the place they told me to. I could have saved 3 hours of my life and excessive swearing if I had just done as they asked me to.

And that is a lesson for you. Just pay the money. It is worth every extra penny.

I won't be doing that again.

My Blog and Me.

2011-01-31T16:23:00.016+08:00

I have always thought of myself as a little creative. I took Art at High School. Although I sucked at it. By far my greatest ability at school was to write. That and later, at uni - to drink myself into a stupor with $3.00 Bacardi Lemon Limes at the Uni Tavern. I took English Literature in my upper school years and loved it. It was the only class that didn't make my eyes droopy with excessive boredom. I studied it for my TEE (as it was back in the day in Perth). I think it was my highest grade. I only got a B. But I loved it.

I started this blog in September 2009 when I had two todders and little Tilly was all but a twinkle in our eyes. It came about when I reconnected with an old friend. I hadn't spoken to him for a long time. I wrote the biggest email you had ever seen. I just had so much to say. It was about 5 pages long. The emails came back and forth and I wrote page upon page upon page. I am not sure whether he enjoyed ALL THAT. He most probably thought I was a looney mum bored out of her brain (which was perhaps not far from the truth), but what I can tell you was that I found what had been missing. An outlet for my creativity. Which I was craving.

I would update my Facebook status multiple times a day. But it wasn't giving me what I needed. What is it that is missing? I wanted to say more. I am a compulsive over-communicator

I had read MamaMia for a long time and knew I wanted to express myself in a similar way. I started reading other blogs and knew I must do it too.

I am not a good writer. I just love to write. I don't blog to make money. I don't want to write a book. I know this blog will never make me rich. It will most certainly not make me famous.

Now as a seasoned blogger I am happy to admit that I lurve reading other blogs. You can delve into peoples lives. They have made me laugh and made me cry. More crying it would seem lately though. I would love to read every single blog on planet earth but even if I had 5 lifetimes to do it in, it still wouldn't be enough. Blogging is like the mail, it just keeps COMING and COMING and it never stops. At some point you just have to make peace that you can only handle what you can handle.

This blog is just for me to write. And write the best that I can and hopefully get better at it. Because practice makes perfect? I have also make some lovely friends in the process. No doubt all my ramblings are something my children can read when they are older, to get a true understanding of me, their mother. Not that daggy person they will soon think I am. It lets me take the piss out of myself. And everyone else. To optimise what can sometimes be a mundane mum existance.

Who needs drugs and booze and all that when you have the "Publish Post" button. Now that is exhilarating. Or maybe I'm just an idiot.

And that my friends, is all.

The Bold and the Beautiful. Some Things Just Stay The Same

2011-01-28T19:16:00.006+08:00

In my chaotic Stay-At-Home-Motherhood-Life with 3 kids not yet of school age, there is one rock in my life that never changes. It always stays the same. It is unfailing stable in my world when other things are falling apart.

The Bold and the Beautiful.

I'm not one of those Mums that engages in a lot of daily dreadful TV watching. Gawd. No. I have no time for that. But everytime I do pop the TV on in the late afternoon in preparation for the news, my old buddie old pal appears right before my eyes as it has done for most part of my life.

The Bold and the Beautiful or as my daughter likes to call it "The Kissing Show".

Because I kid you not there is guaranteed to be some porno kissing action in each episode. It is a prerequisite for each show. I am sure the Director gives each show's script the once over to ensure the compulsory kissing sequence has been written, before he engages in it's production. I write that with certainty.

What I like about it is that, essentially, today's storyline is exactly the same as the one shown in 1998. Same as the one in 1988. It's like a wheel on a bicycle. The same stories get recycled around and around and around and around we go. Which is great if you haven't seen the show in 10 years. You just pick right up where you left off.

And in this crazy topsy turvy world that is always changing and bringing new challenges for the rest of us, there are a few things you can count on when it comes to this show:

* Somebody wants Stephanie (Ridge's Mum, the old lady) to have an accident and die a terrible, horrible, painful death. Her character is also always plotting against somebody. Normally this is the lady who has made a move, or intends to make a move for her ex husband.

* Ronn Moss (yes two N's how intriguing) the person who plays Ridge will over act and no one seems to mind.

* Taylor's face will look like an overblown balloon, her worst enemy being sharp pointy objects which has the potential to blow that thing up off into outerspace.

* Brooke, by contrast is aging somewhat more gracefully. If she has had work done, then you cannot tell and that is the way it should be.

* Brooke and Taylor will be fighting over the affections of the same man. And this man is always Ridge Forrester.

*The character that was a newborn baby in 2006 has grown into a beautiful young lady in her early twenties all in the matter of 4 years.

*Everyone has perfect teeth. Wear your shades if you don't want that blindness to be permanent.

*Someone is scheming, planning, plotting against someone else all in the name of revenge.

*There is yet another formation of an incestuous relationship between 2 of the characters, making the storyline even harder to follow.

*Somebody that had passed away is now back in the land of the living.

It's predictability is comforting. No?

Grab My Button. Go On. I Asked Nicely

2011-01-27T18:04:00.003+08:00

I have gotten all Fancy Pants here and I now have a This is Taryn blog button. Like Wowsers. You can pop it into your blog. If you like.

I tried making it myself on the weekend. After Googling "Make Blog Button Blogger" 150 times I messed around with Paint (yes I know how LAME) for 5 hours to try and make one myself.

Finally I came to my senses and enlisted Sass of Blogs by Sass and she did it for me. She has great prices and is an expert in all things Blog Design. The service is excellent too. She's a cool chick. Pop by and say "Hai".

My button is on the right sidebar. Scroll down and you will see it.

I am doing some renovating here and first up I will be popping all my favourite blog buttons on here as well.

Go on. Do it. x

It's Time For Another Fashion WTF.

2011-01-25T16:25:00.009+08:00

I am terribly opinionated about fashion. Because bad fashion is well... bad. I have spoken about my disgust of Jeggings (Lycra Denim) and I have even blogged about my distaste for high pants, especially those of the denim kind worn by a certain lady with the surname of Irwin.

A few very ugly things have crossed my fashion radar, or as I like to call it. My Fadar.

First up we have something very ugly which I first saw way back at the beginning of this summer season. So horrendous is this item of shoe, I found myself compelled to take a photo of it and post it on Facebook. As you do.

At first I had to look away. So horrible the image. Are these sandals or are these boots? Well they look like a bit of both. I like to call them BOOTALS. Or "Boots with Ventilation". They are great if you have really bad ankles and really nice toes and really nice heels. They look like you hollowed out a possom and put your feet through them and cut out holes for your toes and your heels.

On posting this image on Facebook everyone agreed "Horrible Things". "Yes I hate them too". Then my cousin announced. "I have a pair of them". Shit. Hello to Lisa if you are reading this.

Next up we have something I found in the Target catalogue today.

Good Lord.

Here we have a lovely model with some very bad shorts. With an exposed pocket.

AN EXPOSED POCKET. WTF?

Underneath the picture it says "Exposed pocket lining". Righto so that it what that dangly thing is hanging from her shorts.

If I saw this lady and didn't know any better I would tap her on her shoulder and announce "Excuse me lady. I can see your pocket".

Hello!? Isn't the inside bit of the pocket something that should not be visible from the outside? It should serve it's purpose and be undetectable. What happens when you fill this pocket with stuff? It's going to bulge out below the short hem. And that's just a bit yuck.

Are we so out of fashion ideas that we must make, sell and purchase shorts with an exposed pocket? What next? Clothing with the lining on the outside? Jackets with pockets pulled out like teepees? Shoes with soles on the upside? Knickers with the bum bit at the front? Bras with an underwire that pokes through your t-shirt?

I'm sorry. Is it just me or all this bordering insanity? What do you think?

Disclaimer - If you are one of these people that has one or both of these items in your wardrobe I do apologise if you have been offended.

Attention Mums to be. Forget Miranda. Here is your impending reality

2011-01-23T12:47:00.011+08:00

If you didn't have your head stuck in a dishwasher all week you would have seen the pic of Miranda Kerr's baby. Here it is if you are one of these people. Republished here. Without permission (of course). I messed around with the size of the photo to make her look a bit fat.

Awww. What a lovely photo. Miranda is fresh faced with a dreamy expression. She looks positively gorgeous. What a bitch.

I am not going to enter into a debate about this photo because it has already run it's course. What I will say is that I am disappointed that we don't get to see what would probably be the best looking baby in the whole world. I don't want to see you, Miranda. We already know what you look like. Bloody fabulous of course. I just would like to see the baby.

My other concern is this. New mothers are already subjected to the whole population of Hollywood returning to a size 0, 8 hours after giving birth. Real mummas become puzzled as to why their post baby tummy has to be tucked into their undies. Now celebs are posting these dreamy images of themselves in beautiful robes in post-natal bliss with picture perfect looks on their faces? It's enough to make you just want to have a baby. Just to look like this.

Well let me tell you impending mummas. This is what motherhood looks like.

This is me and my baby. She is a good baby. But she cries. Because she is a baby. And that is me. Passed out. Definitely without make up. Yes with spew. Possibly with the mornings breakfast still on my face.

This my ladies, is reality.

I have a smug look on my face because I just dreamt that we had an endless supply of cash and we hired a nanny and a butler to assist with the household duties. Dream on.

At least you can my babies face.

Gluten Free Orange Cake

2011-01-22T13:25:00.004+08:00

This is my most favourite cake in the whole world. A lot of Gluten Free Orange cakes require you, the poor bastard - to simmer oranges for 500 hours. Ok maybe 1 hour. No thanks. If I did that I would forget about it and it would end badly with me mopping the sticky orange mess off the bloody floor.

Of course if you like your baked goods WITH the gluten just use regular wheat flour instead of the rice flour.

Here is my recipe.

185g butter
1 tablespoon finely grated orange rind
1 cup caster sugar
6 eggs
3 cups almond meal
3/4 cup desiccated coconute
3/4 cup of rice flour or gluten free plain flour mix
1 teaspoon baking powder

Orange Syrup
1 large orange
1/3 cup caster sugar
1/3 cup water

Grease cake pan. Beat butter, rind and sugar in medium bowl with electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until just combined between additions. This mixture will curdle - don't be alarmed.

Stir in the almond meal, coconut and sifted flour and baking powder. Spread cake mix into prepared pan. Bake in moderate oven for about 1 hour. Stand in pan for 5 minutes and turn onto wire rack over tray. Pour hot orange syrup over hot cake. Serve warm or cold.

Orange Syrup
Using a vegetable peeler, peel rind thinly from orange. Cut rind into thin strips. Squeeze juice from orange into small saucepan. Stir in rind, sugar and water. Stir over heat, without boiling, until sugar dissolves. Simmer, uncovered without stirring for 5 minutes.

Supermarkets. Ugggh. Chapter ONE

2011-01-16T13:18:00.007+08:00

This is the first installment of a series of posts entitled "SUPERMARKETS. UGGGH". My relationship with supermarkets is a complex one and will need to be covered in a series of posts rather than boring you with one very large post indeed.

I godamn hate supermarkets. One in particular. The one I shop at.

There is just something about them. There is an aura of hate and regret and boredom and hostility that hovers around them. Customers are swept up in these feelings as they browse the shelves for things they need which are always out of stock. The staff harbour these feelings also but to a higher degree. They try to hide these feelings. But we all know they are there. They want to be somewhere else. It seeps out of their pores. They don't want to work here. And the customers. Well. They do not want to be here either. But we all have to be here. The staff need employment to survive and alas, we need food. So we can eat to avoid starvation and withering into nothingness.

I worked for a supermarket for the entire duration of my working life before kids. I worked for THEM for 15 years. A LONG TIME. I won't name the company. Don't fancy being contacted by any lawyers requesting me to take down this post. I started when I was 14. At first as a check out chick. Then a person who coordinates the advertising. And then in a la -de-da fancy job as an Account Executive. That titles always puzzled me. Because I never actually executized any accounts as far as I am aware. I took orders for certain corporate stuff and placed them and then listened to the whinging and copped all the shit when they didn't arrived on time. It was monotonous and boring and didn't challenge me one bit but it paid well so I stayed. I usually had finished all my work before 10am which left the rest of the day to email friends and look at the pile of paperwork that needed filing which I had named "The Mountain of Hell". I avoided it until it fell over itself and then onto the floor. Then I just couldn't ignore it anymore. I was WALKING ON IT and something had to be done. I had to file it. Hello to my old bosses if you are reading this.

When I fell pregnant with my first child I was so excited to be taking maternity leave and take a break from that job. I took maternity leave with the view to NEVER RETURN AGAIN. That part of my life I decided, was over. No more. There was also the very slim chance that they might offer me to take a redundancy while I was on maternity leave. So I didn't come out and quit. I waited.

And waited. And waited with hope.

Then the phone rang. "Please come into the office and sign the redundancy papers". I was getting my redundancy. One of the single best phone calls of my life taken while my baby screamed in the background. I took that phone call in the closet. It was the only way I could hear what my boss was saying on the other end. I pocketed some cash. We finished off the extension to our home and that was that.

We parted on good terms. Me with my bucket full of cash (not a big bucket. More an icecream container) and I am sure they were happy to see the back of me.

And that's how it all began.

The Car Stereo. Untouched Paradise.

2011-01-04T15:42:00.009+08:00

When I became a Mum so much changed. Children swallow everything up.

My spacious home became a very well merchandised Toy Shop.

Our money goes on feeding the children. Clothing the children. Buying them cots, beds, prams, high chairs, car seats and sippy cups (which are fecking expensive for a bit of plastic if you ask me. Are there small grains of undetectable gold in there somewhere?)

Our leisure time moved from sipping Strawberry Daquiri's in exclusive Perth restaurants, to cleaning spew, wiping arses and reading every childrens book ever created.

This is a post about one aspect of my life I will not allow small people to snap up.

The Holy Grail. The Car Radio.

The car is my sanctuary. If I am driving, it is my music you are listening to. It is my temple. It is a way to unwind. To listen to great music. To sing loudly very badly.

On chatting to a few mums recently I was super surprised to find that their car CD players are regularly hi-jacked with plethora of childrens music. The Wiggles, Hi-5. Nursery Rhymes. Enough kids music in there to drive to Dorothy the Dinosaur's House.

Stuff that. We do everything for our children and I WILL NOT SUCCUMB TO THESE LEVELS.

I think we are forgetting that the car stereo volume can be controlled. Hello! If you turn the radio up you can't hear the children slapping each other silly and attemping a World Wresting Win. Let's not forget the whinging. It works for that too. Problem solved. So if you are going to turn the music up loud to drown out the noise you might as well be listening to what YOU want to groove to. Right. Right?

Turned up volume drowns out the kids and the music playing is mine to enjoy. It's soooooo underated. So lets shove that kids music in the junk drawer and rejoice in music of your choice.

Go on. You deserve it!

The Year That Was

2010-12-31T11:00:00.013+08:00

Yay, I get to write a few words while My Angel (Tilly) sleeps and the other two slip into a Dora The Explorer induced coma in front of the TV.

As we close the door on 2010, here's a quick rundown.

I spent 9 out of the 12 months of 2010 pregnant.

It was my best pregnancy to date possibly because Tilly was the smallest of all 3 babies. Pregnancy for me is tiresome and exhausting and I am looking forward to not being pregnant. Again. Ever.

I had a baby.

Nuff said. Big ups to me.

I organised my High School Reunion which was held 2 weeks after Tilly's birth.

Huge achievement. HUGE. I actually forgot to post about my High School's 15 year reunion which I organised which was a huge success. It took a good 2 years to find my old mates. And although I suffered some extreme nervousness the day of the event, it all went very well and we had approximately 55 attendees. We had over 250 in our year. I was thrilled to see that a lot of schoolmates even made the trip from interstate. It really was great to see some old pals especially a close friend of mine who I lost contact with. I actually found about 70% of old school mates but for whatever reason, most decided not to attend. Which is fine. Whatever. Seems a lot have some unresolved High School Issues. Even 15 years later. Whatever.

There were definitely were a few sore heads the next day. The management at the pub had to kick us out in the end as we stayed past closing time. It was a great night. I look forward to the next reunion for our 20th year. Which I am sure will be bigger and better than the last.

I felt a bit special as everyone was so grateful to me for organising the night.

I found a maxi dress that looks good on me

Possibly the biggest achievement of the year surpassing giving birth and organising massive events. And it was ON SALE. Massive accomplishment to find a maxi dress that doesn't make me look like Papa Smurf dressed like a Humpback whale. Big achievement to find a maxi dress that doesn't drag along the ground like some B grade non-white wedding dress. *Smile*.

My little girl started 3+ kindy

Well this was big for me. She only attended some 5 hours a week but it was the first time I had ever left her in the hands of anyone other than relatives. She took the transition so very well. Like everything with my kids I was anticipating BIG DRAMAS but it all ended up being a bit "meh" in the end, as usual I worried about it and she was fine in the kindy and loved it to bits.

I toilet trained Harry in 1 day.

Like I said I anticipate big DRAMAS whenever the kids need transitioning into something. I was expecting this to be the biggest drama yet, possibly because he is a cheeky little monkey. Once again it was a dismal "meh" on the richter scale of Big Headaches. I swear this is some kind of miracle from God. Harry had the toilet down pat pretty much on the 1st day. The following day I kept reminding him to go. Then I forget to tell him to go to the toilet because I am just so busy with a newborn and all. So then he just started pulling down his dacks and doing the bizzo himself. Only 2 or so wee's on the floor and I stepped in no poo because one never made it to the ground.

So much happened this year but I am looking forward to a wonderful 2011.

Here are my resolutions to commence on January 1st which will all turn to shit sometime during the second week of January. Because my resolution last year to use my shipping container load of Clinique on a daily basis suffered a similar fate.

1. No more T-shirts. Somehow I have collected a freakin smorgasboard of bloody t shirts. Tight fitting ones with low necks in all the colours of the bloody rainbow. I am not sure how this happened. No more. I am not wearing these in public anymore. They are daggy and only suitable for bed.

2. More clothes. More shoes. When you take out all the tshirts there is literally nothing left.

3. Get back on the treadmill and try and lose the pregnancy paunch before I hunt down a plastic surgeon to have it cut out.

4. Be a better friend, better sister, daughter, better wife and better mother.

5. Get back to blogging and reconnect with all my lovely bloggers which means rejoining the troops of crazies on Twitter.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

What hopes do you have for 2011?

The Things People Say

2010-12-21T10:40:00.004+08:00

People say stupid things to new mums. Here's a few that have been said to me, which make me want to stuff play doh in my ears whilst singing loudly.

Why aren't you breastfeeding?

Ok listen up numskulls. Never ask a new mum why her baby isn't breastfed. We have all had the "Breast is Best" mantra drummed into our brains and we get it and we heard it so shut it. Ask this question at your own peril because odds on it's going to be a VERY LONG STORY and no doubt, a sensitive issue. So just mind your own business and shut the hell up. The baby is getting FOOD and that is all that MATTERS.

Why is your baby crying?

IF I KNEW WHY MY BABY IS CRYING THEN IT WOULDN'T BE CRYING WOULD IT?

Did you have a good labour?

Errr. Hello. Good labour? No labour is "good". It's uncomfortable. It's gross. There is blood. Some of them are a little easier than others but none of them are GOOD. I have never heard an expectant mother say they are looking forward to birthing their child.

Does your baby sleep through the night?

I get asked this by other mums. Mums who's babies have since grown into equally-pain-in-the-ass-teenagers. Were they ever mums to small babies? They must have been, otherwise how do you explain the existance of the teenager? How quickly they seem to forget.

Listen up. 3 week old babies DO NOT SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT. Do you know why? Mostly because their stomachs are the size of golfballs and it gets burnt off quickly. They feed usually more than once through the night. If you are extremely unlucky you will get a baby that won't settle back to sleep after being fed. And sometimes by the time they have gone to sleep, they wan't to be fed AGAIN. And so it goes.. you're back to square one.

If you do have a baby that sleeps through the night at 3 weeks, you are clearly abnormal and I hate you.

You are going to feed her again?

Yes. I am. Babies are unpredictable little creatures and sometimes they don't feed 3/4 hourly like the text book says they should. Sometimes they mix it up a bit just to test you. You gotta go with the flow.

When is your baby due?

A friend of mine got asked this a couple of years ago. Odds on when a lady with a swollen tummy is holding a 3 week old baby - she has actually HAD THE BABY. Cue tears. The person who asks this needs a sharp blow to the head.

Don't worry it takes time to get your figure back.

You mean babies ruin your body? Gee I thought they made us slimmer and more toned then ever before. So eating Twisties during the night feeds isn't going to help? Damn! Thanks for reminding me I need to lose a few kay gees.

Eeek, look at your garden!

Aww sorry I just had a baby and I have 3 kids which are not yet school age. Sorry I didn't get a chance to pick up all the leaves. I'm a little busy. My time is precious and scooping up leaves and pulling out weeds doesn't rate highly on my list of priorities. Gawd.

What stupid questions have you been asked?

4 Weeks In

2010-11-29T13:36:00.008+08:00

Hello Blog.

It's me. I know. I know.

Sorry.

Have been busy.

Keeping Mr 2 in check and ensuring the little ratbag doesn't put his big sister in hospital with all his play fighting.

Busy keeping Miss 4 occupied. Taking her to Kindy. Picking her up again. This involves putting 3 kids into the car and putting them back in again and again and again *sigh*.

And for Miss 4 weeks: Busy making bottles, feeding, burping, changing dirty nappies. Well doing everything for her. Because. That's what they need. Derrrr.

So we are 4 weeks in and I really have to boast now about WHAT A FABULOUS BABY I HAVE. *touches wood with gusto*.

YES I HAVE A FABULOUS BABY. There I have said it.

I can totally see why people have like. Heaps of kids.

ALL THEIR BABIES ARE LIKE TILLY.

Gawd, if all my babies were like her, I will order 500 more.

She is not badly refluxy like my other two. She feeds well. She burps fabulously.

When she moves her mouth like those clown games at the Royal Show - she needs to be fed.

When she won't feed, she has wind.

When she grunts her face and go all red. It's time to change the nappy.

I feed her. I burp her. I put her down in her little bouncy chair in the lounge room where the kids play. She looks around. Closes her eyes and

GOES TO SLEEP.

Can you believe it? I shake my head in wonder at every moment. No crying. No fussing. She just slowly DRIFTS OFF TO SLEEP. HOLY CRAP.

I always look with bewilderment at THOSE mothers at the shops who have sleeping babies in their prams. Mine never did, they fussed and fought and drove me nuts. NOW I AM ONE OF THOSE MOTHERS!

No endless rocking, singing, patting, moving.

So needless to say we are doing great. Apart from this week when the fridge decided to self destruct, leaving me stranded with no home for frozen meat. Apart from this week when the hot water system followed suit. And my husband was away.

So apart from that we are doing great guns.

(I hope I haven't jinxed myself).

And I would like to say that I will rejoin BLOGLAND soon. I am still being occupied by visitors and to be honest I can't be an active participant in BLOGLAND at the moment so I will be rejoining you all very shortly.

And as for Twitter. Well. I am sorry too. See you soon. All of you. xx

The Baby is Here!

2010-11-06T19:08:00.005+08:00

The baby is here! IT'S A GIRL!

Sorry it has taken me so long to post on this! There are a few good reasons. I was going to Blog from my iphone, but that's a bit like giving Raspberry Cordial to a toddler - you just don't do it. You know it's going to be painful.

Tilly Rose was born on Wednesday 27th October at 2.40pm weighing a very slight 6 pound 6 ounces which came as a big surprise being that my first two were 8 pounders. What a little parcel she is. But of course it wouldn't be ME if there wasn't 500 dramas along the way.

I have always loved the name Tilly. Normally it's short for Matilda or Tilda. 4 years ago in a the community nurses waiting room, I was chatting to another mum and she had called her daughter Tilly. She said it wasn't short for anything. Then when I was pregnant, my friend Kristie (thanks hon ;)) lent me a baby book of names. It was called Cool Names for Babies or something lame like that. Poppy and Harry my kids names were listed in the "Bohemian" section which I thought was quite funny. Then I saw Tilly listed there also. Now all 3 of my kids have 5 letters in their name, ending in a Y after a set of double letters. Too funny.

My C-Section went really well. Thankyou to a fabulous anethetist. I was lecturing him at 9.30pm the previous night about my prior Epidural "issues". When I got home I was elated to discover his bill and that the phone call went for a duration of 16-30 minutes and I was billed $150 accordingly, with the total bill coming to well over $1000. Thanks for coming.

Things were going so well. Tilly was sleeping well, I was catching up on 9 months of pregnancy related sleep deprivation when on Sunday morning, the day before I was supposed to leave, a midwife took ONE higher temp than usual and enquired about her "whining" noises and before I knew it she was being shipped off to the Neo Natal unit before I could say WHAT THE F***!!?? We were all set to leave and then she was gone.

The whole thing came as a surprise because I knew there was nothing wrong. Tilly is a small sausage and I had trouble keeping her temp at a consistent level. My room was really drafty. She had no meat on her to speak of. The "whining" to me was the most beautiful noise in the world. They called it "grunting" which is a sign of all sorts of problems but she wasn't grunting. She was singing. All my babies did this. There was also the issue of her being "lethargic" which I put down to a very active 9 months in my belly. The poor girl needs her rest. Let her be. She wants to sleep.

So they put an IV catheter on her little body and pumped her full of antibiotics over 48 hours. It was horrible. I got her back into my room on the "outreach" program. They came up and took her Obs at every feed. I wouldn't leave her down there for a "rest". The nurses thought I was mad. If I had left her down there, I am sure they would have observed more "issues" and we would never bloody get out of there!

Apparently I could go home but Tilly had to stay. Leave without my baby!? You've got to be joking. If she stays I stay.

So yes it turns out there was no infection. No shit. I told you so. We had to stay two extra nights, so I was in hospital with Tilly for 7 days. It was hell towards the end. But thank feck we got out of there and she is HEALTHY.

I won't even mention how bad the food was.

So here she is. My little Tilly. We call her Tilly Vanilly.

I loves her. We are blessed.

...and then there was 3 days to go!

2010-10-24T12:53:00.003+08:00

I am sitting here bored out my brain.

My mother in law has taken the kids for the day and while I am extremely grateful for the break, I am too tired to go out. I am not tired enough to sleep and rest.

I am just restless. Or bored. Bored? I have cleaned everything. I need to give the place one good clean but I will wait until the day before I go into hospital to get that done. The fridge is full of food. I am set to leave the family and have this baby.

My doctor thinks this baby won't be as big as the first two. So not only are we excited to find out the sex of the baby, I am eager to find out its weight, because I, too believe this baby will be smaller than the others. I just don't feel as large. Maybe that means nothing. Maybe that means I am just carrying less fluid than I did with my first two pregnancies, maybe I am just getting better at carrying big bumps. Time will tell.

Because there is only 3 days to go.

I am anxious and nervous. Nervous because I have already had 2 children born via C-Sections and let me tell you they are certainly no walk in the park. There is the pain, and the pain killers that make me woozy and nauseated and no pain relief seems to really work for me. And then there is the baby that wants to be fed, fed, fed. Shocking hormones from day 3 that have me in tears for no bloody good reason. And then there is the blood. Oh the blood. So much blood.

I am worried for my children that are already here. Will they be ok? How will they adapt to another baby brother or sister? I think I have prepared them for it as much as I can without overdoing it. They know change is just around the corner. We'll muddle through.

And then there is the Epidural. Let's hope it works effectively this time around. I had a horrible Anesthetist with Harry, my second child. Let's just say his epidural wasn't very effective. Let's not go there. After delivering Harry I swore I would never have another baby. Came home and threw out all my baby books and all my magazines.

And here we are again. How quickly we forget. I could have done with all those books this time around! Stoopid me.

Wish me luck. x

35 Weeks Pregnant. Or Was it 34? Shit.

2010-10-04T13:50:00.008+08:00

I haven't updated you in the PHAT stakes readers so here we have it.

Moi. At 35 weeks. Under a month to go. My baby will be here this month. Thankyou October for finally showing up. I thought you would never come.

I am not interested in food. In fact if it doesn't take a liquid form I am not interested in injesting it. I have moved slightly from being partial to flavoured milk (by partial I mean ADDICTED) over to the more complex palate choice of Sparkling Apple Juice. I put it in a fancy wine glass. And pretend like its something that might make me drunk.

The baby is strong and the kicks are painful now. Did I mention I'm tired? Ahhh.

The last baby and then this shop is closed for business. The baby making stage of my life is nearly over. *Crosses fingers behind her back and prays to the Lord of Flavoured Milk*.

Watch this space peeps, there will be some news soon.

The Reunion is Nearly Here. This Is What I have learned.

2010-09-23T15:58:00.006+08:00

The more I age the more I realise I am completely fucking insane.

Who would organise the first high school reunion ever, 3 weeks after she delivers her third child?

Me. Stoopid me.

Who has spent the last 2 years trying to find as many people from high school while she has two small children at home who are not yet school age. Like I didn't have enough things to do.

Me. Stoopid me.

Who has done about 150,000 Facebook and Google searches during this time and sent the approximate same number of emails?

Me. Stoopid me.

I have come to realise that I am not very bright. Actually. I knew that already. Now I realise I am bordering insane and need to be committed to the nearest mental asylum ASAP before I over organise myself into a hurricane.

It's been an interesting journey which is now less than 2 months away. I am so nervous about it and I don't know why. Maybe I am scared no one will show up. Maybe I am scared everyone will look at each other glumly in absolute silence. Maybe its because 3 weeks after the delivery of a new baby, we can safely say that I won't be looking my best. And I wanted to look HAWT. Damn the failings of a post pregnancy body.

I have learnt many things on this journey to High School Reunionism. Here are some.

1. When you stumble upon someone you recognise from high school, do not ask their friend if they are their MOTHER. Because there is a good chance they are the PARTNER of your old high school friend. Next time. Just shut the hell up you big mouthed lunatic. Cue embarrassment.

2. Reconsider giving an RSVP phone number when you have two small children. An email will suffice. Because when one of the coolest dudes and most successful out of high school rings you to confirm his RSVP, there is no chance of your daughter falling off the couch and subjecting the poor bugger to child noise pollution. Cue more embarrassment.

3. When you send an email. Hardly anyone will reply. It's just the name of the game.

4. The High School Bitch is still a Bitch and some things never change.

So I just wanted to share those things with you as I am still red cheeked and suffering mild embarrassment from Point 2. (above). Somehow writing about it makes it better.

Perhaps I would have recovered better from Point 1 (above) if I had written about that earlier, rather than hiding in the linen cupboard in the the days following the said incident.

Another... Who Am I?

2010-09-21T12:44:00.009+08:00

Who am I?

They call me ROOCH.

I can spend up to 45 minutes in the shower. Then when my wife comes and says "Seriously. WTF?" I advise that I haven't yet washed myself, I have been "relaxing".

I shave my head to save money on hairdressers. Except my wife spends 5 hours cleaning up all the hair in the bathroom so it really wasn't worth it in the end.

I can pick my towel off the floor, but it is going to take many more years of my wife complaining for me to put my dirty clothes in the dirty clothes basket.

I have about 30 Tshirts but I have a close personal connection to only about 5 of those which I will wear. My wife tries to hide them in my wardrobe so I might start wearing some of the others.

I turned our beautiful spacious garage into RUCCI'S GYM, where I work out at 5.30am in the morning twice a week. Except on Saturdays when it opens at 7am much to the dismay of our once very agreeable neighbour. His house shakes when we drop the weights. That makes me laugh out loud. I make no apologies for making anyones house wibble wobble.

I have broken a total of 3 hand held blenders since I started making my protein shakes. The one I am using at the moment is also broken but my wife personally embarrassed to go back to the shop to BUY YET ANOTHER ONE.

I eat so much food for my beefcake diet that my wife struggles to keep the fridge well stocked and now we are going to have to buy a bigger fridge. There is only so much Fridge Tetris my wife can handle.

I am strong. Fiesty. Opinionated. Anti Labor.

I always take the kids somewhere on the weekend even if its just for a few hours to give my wife a break. She seems to like that very much.

I am sweet. Kind. Loving. An excellent husband. An excellent father.

I don't complain when my wife spends 90% of the money I earn on flavoured milk made by Masters and supplied by Coles.

I take pride in our home. In my work. I am possibly the best in the world at my profession, everyone else just isn't as hardworking or smart as I am.

I asked my future wife to "Go out with me" approximately 165 times during the course of my high school years. I am persistant and never give up. I always give 1000% to everything I do.

Who am I?

I am Taryn's Husband.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAULLIE. WE LOVE YOU XXX

Who Am I?

2010-09-11T18:52:00.006+08:00

My Mum got my name from a character in a book. She thought it was the sweetest name ever. A little bit out there. But not too crazy. Totally cute. A flower name. A happy name. Something to represent the girl my Mum hoped I would become.

When I was born, my mum and dad were very worried. I didn't stop crying for the first 3 days. Then they realised. I was hungry. They are not very bright my Mum and Dad.

I love my little brother. We are inseparable. Great mates. If he sleeps in longer than me I get upset. "I need someone to play with Mum". I say. If I can't find my brother I get very worried and freak out like I may have lost him forever. He is equally as keen on me. I am fiercely protective of him.

I am sensitive, highly strung and ruled by my emotions. I am female.

Get those pants away from me. I will only wear dresses and skirts. Anything else just isn't "pretty". "I want to be pretty Mum" I say.

I am affectionate and loving and asks for "huggles" regularly.

Despite my Dad and Mum having very curly hair my hair is quite straight in comparison. Mum still struggles to understand how this happened. I often catch Mum looking at me with a puzzled expression on her face.

I really adore my "quiet time" watching ABC Kids while my little brother naps. During this time I require the following. My blanket and the largest carrot mum can find in the fridge. Which needs to be peeled. Then I proceed to yell out to my Mum the name of EACH AND EVERY SHOW which comes on the television. You know. Just to keep her in the loop.

I have a really sweet tooth and cannot stop at one of any type of sweet treat.

I love a party. And a party must have a lolly bag. If it does not I will show you my disappointment in the loudest way possible.

I love to draw and sit at my craft table and do countless pictures and my Mum has no idea what to do with them.

Who am I?

My name is Poppy. I am 4 tomorrow.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL. WE LOVE YOU.

I Have The Best Babysitter In The World. Costs Nothing and works all day.

2010-09-07T14:22:00.006+08:00

I have the best babysitter in the modern world. She can start work at 9am and will finish at 6pm. 7 days a week.

She costs nothing.

She is available on demand, whenever you need her. She'll be there. Waiting.

She never complains. She plays well with the kids. They sit quietly and listen intently to what she has to say.

I am talking about ABC2.

The day ABC2 was invented, was a happy day for me. For all parents across Australia. With no Foxtel to speak of, ABC2 was a slice of that all day kiddy action which we had been lacking.

Everyday ABC2 sprouts out great quality educational shows for children. You know. For when you need a babysitter. And a great babysitter it is. Being a Stay At Home Mum, I get no reprieve from them so I use the tv as a way to attend to household chores. By that I mean lay in bed and drink my way through litres of Nesquik, uninterupted. My kids don't go to daycare, and there is no formal schooling for them yet. So TV is my angel.

Need a break? Want a coffee? Just turn that big black box on. No phone call needed. No cash required. JUST TURN IT ON.

When I was without child, I used to judge parents for using the television as a form of entertainment. "Those parents are lazy bastards" I would chant. I could have done with a quick blow to the head with a blunt object. Ironically with a television. Now I shudder to think what a judgemental cow I was. I got over my "TV Issues" and use the television as required. We are television free in the morning. But I do turn it on in the afternoon.

The day your child is old enough to sit in front of the tv for long periods of time is a celebration in itself, especially if your child is a clingy one. Woo Hoo. You can finally remove unwanted hair from your face. Go to the toilet unaccompanied. Look in the mirror. Remove poo from walls. You know, those sorts of things.

Giggle and Hoot I love you. And Jimmy Giggle, if I was a little younger, I would totally go for you.

God bless you ABC2.

Raspberry and Almond Friands

2010-09-02T17:50:00.003+08:00

1 1/2 cups pure icing sugar
1/2 cup gluten-free flour
150 g pkt almond meal
100 g white chocolate chopped into small chunks
1 cup frozen raspberries
150 g butter melted
1 tsp vanilla essence
6 egg whites

Method
1.Preheat oven to 180 °C or 160 °C fan. Grease a 12-cup friand or muffin pan. Sift icing sugar and flour together in a bowl. Add almond meal, white chocolate and raspberries and mix lightly to combine.

2.Whisk egg white in a separate bowl until just foamy. Add egg white to dry ingredients with the butter and vanilla and mix until combined.

3.Spoon mixture into the prepared friand pan and bake for 25-30 mins until golden. Cool friands in pan before removing. Store in an airtight container.

I Deal With Addiction During Pregnancy

2010-09-01T09:18:00.008+08:00

Ok. Before you start revving up your engines and getting all rife with me because I have used pregnancy and the subject of addiction in the same sentence, may I ask you to STOP RIGHT THERE. Take a deep breath and read on I am simply using this comparison as a form of light entertainment (hopefully for you). One can be optimistic surely?

I don't know much about addiction, drug addiction or any type of addiction. Actually I know nothing. I am the first to admit that. I am in one of those privelaged positions where no one I am close to (nor me) has had to deal with this issue in my lifetime. I hope it never comes to that. EVER. Sure I had a few puffs of a joint during my uni days and had a few puffs of a cigarette and didn't like it. Saw nothing in it. The End.

But when I am pregnant, my thirst is more than a craving. It is an addiction. I have thoughts 24/7 about when my next hit is due. From what I have heard about addiction, it's pretty similar. Of course mine is no where near as dangerous, highly concerning or potentially fatal. It just has me looking like an overstuffed water balloon waddling from fridge to fridge (with a straw). It also has me running through the house requiring a toilet very frequently. Especially through the night. Luckily we have 4 toilets in our house so I don't have to waddle very far.

When I need a hit, I need it now. A "hit" being my next scull of Nesquik be that Chocolate or Strawberry. Juice. Water. Soft Drink. Anything that takes a liquid form I want it. And I want it NOW. GIVE IT TO MEEEEEE.

So Miss 3 has overaccessorised to the point of looking like a Christmas Tree. She has to wait. I'm thirsty. Wait. Dinner is on fire? Need to whack down some OJ before I die of dehydration. What's that you say? Mr 2 has smeared shit all over the wall? I need to grab a glass and drink it dry... now. Right now. RIGHT NOW. Ah gawd. That was good. It is my first priority for the whole 9 months of pregnancy.

I wake during the night. Mission: To injest copious quantities of Apple and Blackcurrant Juice. The thought of that cold, sweet liquid just won't go away. Every floorboard in the house squeaks as I move my way through the house to satisfy my desires. I wake everyone. It's a small price to pay for my fix. I am indebted to it.

I am a little bit over it now. My dealer (Coles) is costing me dearly in the form of hard earned cash. I rock up and buy the "goods", taking the form of litres and litres of easily purchasable thirst quenching articles. And it's perfectly legal. Damn them for enabling me.

So I wait. 8 more weeks and I am totally over it. No more Nesquik, no more juice, I won't want it anymore when the baby comes. I should ring Nestle and explain. Their sales are about to drop substantially. So don't buy any shares in this company.

Ok?

Easy Peasy Gluten Free Spinach, Feta and Sundried Tomato Muffins

2010-08-31T13:17:00.008+08:00

I found a version of this recipe on Taste's Website and adapted it to be gluten free.

My local Muffin Break sells these muffins at around $4.50 a pop and my kids love them, so I decided to find a similar recipe and start making them myself.

Makes 12

Ingredients
Canola oil, to grease
2 cups gluten free self-raising flour
250g frozen spinach (squeeze the excess water out)
150g feta cheese, crumbled
1/2 cup chopped semi-dried tomatoes
2 tbs finely grated parmesan
1 1/3 cups milk
90g butter, melted
1 egg

Method
Preheat oven to 200°C. Brush twelve 80ml (1/3-cup) muffin pans with canola oil to lightly grease.

Sift flour into a bowl. Add spinach, feta, tomatoes and parmesan, and stir to combine. Use a fork to whisk together milk, butter, egg until well combined. Add milk mixture to flour mixture and use a metal spoon to stir until just combined (do not over mix).

Spoon mixture into prepared pans. Bake for 20 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean. Turn out onto wire rack to cool. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Look At Moi, Look At Moi, 100 posts!

2010-08-31T12:38:00.005+08:00

Well I have made it to 100 posts people, nearly a year of blogging and over 100 followers!

No one is more surprised than me.

I thought a blog would be a good way to start using my brain. I needed some intellectual stimulation. Changing gooey poo and finding the missing lids to textas just wasn't cutting it.

And I wasn't going to go back to work. Hell no.

It has been something for me to enjoy.

Something that couldn't be shared.

I didn't know if I would stick with it. But I have.

I am no hardcore blogger. I don't blog everyday. Once a week does it for me. I love the thrill of the "publish" button. Giving little old me on the laptop in suburban Perth a way to jump into the big wide world, outside the walls of my home.

I have met so many lovely people. They come here and give me comment love. I don't know any of these people in real life. But their comments and tweets mean a lot.

Sometimes you like what I say. Sometimes you don't and that's ok too.

Thankyou for stopping by. Thankyou everyone!

Happiness Is......

2010-08-28T16:54:00.004+08:00

Seeing teeny tiny baby clothes on the washing line on a beautiful Winter's day, with not a cloud in the sky.

I washed all the little boy and girl baby clothes today. Well I thought I did, until I found another tub! BAH!

It's All Coming Together

2010-08-27T12:08:00.011+08:00

I feel like I have been swimming against the tide and getting no where over the last few months but you will be happy to know that things are coming together on a few fronts.

30 Weeks Pregnant
I am now 30 weeks pregnant. Now well into my 3rd Trimester. Things are going to be going very quickly as they seem to do once you reach that milestone. There is no more Sciaitica to speak of, the baby must have shifted off the nerve that was creating that pain. Good baby. Having a lot of trouble getting a good nights rest as the baby rarely even stops moving. I cannot complain. Here is how I look today.

Harry's Room Complete
We had to evict Mr 2 out of his cot and into his new room and into a big boys bed. He loves robots and I have been collecting assorted Robot bedroom furnishings since Christmas for the impending transition. I had some initial concerns that my little boy (also the PMC - Poor Middle Child) would be moving into the smallest room in the house so I put extra effort into making it nice for him. After we shifted the gigantic antique wardrobe to behind the door, we realised the room wasn't actually all that small. So now I can stop feeling guilty! It looks great and he loves it. I even painted a few robots on canvas to feature on his wall next to the curtains. You can see them here.

Will We Get 3 Car Seats to fit into our Car?
We realised our Forester was quite narrow when Husband and I looked at it quizzically and wondered silently to ourselves how the feck we are going to get three car seats to fit into the car. It has the 3 anchor points but actually fitting 3 seats in the back? It wasn't looking good. Husband announced he would just "Bloody well make it fit" and true to his words, we managed it. I would like to say "easily" but that just wasn't the case. I bought the first car seat for Miss 3 to transition into but just wasn't happy with it. I took it back and bought a second, learning from my initial errors and it fits good. We only had to buy the one new car seat which we needed anyway. I was having visions of buying 3 brand new ones but it never came to that in the end.

iPhone
I have my iPhone. After waiting nearly a YEAR FOR IT, I finally have it and it is rocking my world in a big way with how godamn smart it is. I could learn a few things from it. I am just loving checking my emails, Facebook and Twitter on the go. I get to "catch up" on the online world when something boring is happening In Real Life. Which is often when you find yourself up the duff and hanging out in a lot of waiting rooms.

xx

Back in 5 minutes

2010-08-26T12:51:00.003+08:00

Ok so guess what? I have my Iphone. *Squee*. So you know what this means right?

I will be back blogging soon.

I am a busy mum! I don't have time for the kids, housework, playdates, ferrying them here and there, shopping AND playing with my Iphone. Something has gotta give. So blogging gets the flick. For 5 minutes anyway (maybe longer).

My god how I love that thing.

Back soon. x

Hump Day Happiness

2010-08-18T08:19:00.005+08:00

I am going to join the lovely Naomi at Under The Yardam this week by posting my Hump Day Happies. Things that put a smile on my dial this week.

Great Weekend

We had a lovely weekend away in Margaret River with great friends. It is a great place for kids and adults alike. Wine, Food, Play and relaxation. Bliss. The kids were well behaved and had a great time (which made all the difference).

The Baby

I saw the Obstetrician yesterday which brought a lot of happies on a lot of fronts. First of all I got there early. Which isn't unusual because I have Early Disease . I was seen early and I left the surgery before my appointment was even due to begin. He had a patient in labour and wanted to get me out the door. Joy. Sometimes I sit in the waiting room for hours.

Great news is that the baby is head first which doesn't really matter because I am booked in for a C-section anyway. It has a strong heartbeat and is healthy and its doing great so far. It also looks like it won't be as big a baby as Harry was (8 pounds 8 ounces). My bump just isn't as big. Time will tell.

Kool Mints

My Nesquik addiction has been replaced by a Kool Mints addiction and it has me racing to the cupboard to fill my gob with MORE MORE. I was craving something mintie and then I stumbled across Kool Mints at Coles which are gluten free. You should have seen my grin. I wish I would get a water craving or something with very little or no calories. BAH. Oh well. You can read about my cravings here.

Names

We have finalised our baby names. One boy name and one girl name with their middle names. We can tick this one off the list of things to do.

IPhone4

I ordered my Iphone via the Optus Website a few weeks ago and they rang yesterday to confirm my address so I am anticipating delivery very soon as I held off getting the Iphone3 last year when I really wanted one. It feels like I have been waiting a very long time. I can't wait to start using it. It will certainly make time waiting in doctors surgerys all the more interesting.

What are your hump day happies?

Holy Crap I Am Just Not Ready For This....

2010-08-16T20:15:00.005+08:00

We got the letter in the mail today.

Well actually we got the letter in the mail on Thursday but I wasn't here to receive it, we were on our way to Margaret River for a bit of holiday rest and relaxation. Which was fabulous by the way, thanks for asking.

Our girl got accepted into Kindy.

I know. Amazing that she got in. Being that we are in the area and all and it's a public school. But hey. Looks like she will ACTUALLY BE GOING TO KINDY next year. It is not that far away distant event that will happen in the future.

It will happen next year.

But I am not ready for it.

Kindy hours are now 15 hours a week. That seems like a bloody long time to be away from me.

3 whole days one week. Then 2 whole days the next. WHOLE DAYS. WHOLE DAYS!?

Then I briefly considered being a home schooling parent.

And I realised I am not that bright. My kids would end up being a bit dumb and that just wouldn't be fair.

This is going to take some getting used to.

I haven't blogged and here is WHY

2010-08-06T12:50:00.004+08:00

I have a bad case of the bloguilts. I lost my blojo. I have a bad case of Bloggers Block.

A lot of time has passed and I haven't written.

Because nothing is happening.

Because when the time comes to actually write, all I can think about is curling into a ball, closing my eyes and letting sleep blanket over me.

My tummy is huge and nothing fits. My tummy is all pointy. Like someone shoved a big huge orange road cone under there. This baby kicks non stop. I am barely aware of it not moving. I gaze at my tummy and watch bits poke out of it. Then I watch amazed as tidal waves of baby movement slide across my belly. My leg is sore, my back is sore. I'm tired.

My eyes are sleepy as I write this.

I need to sleep.

We'll be back to normal programming soon.

HELP! My Husband has Male Selective Blindness (MSB)

2010-07-24T13:10:00.009+08:00

My husband's ability to locate things has come to my attention. I am aware that this could quite possibly be a male issue rather than a Taryn Husband issue. So to speak.

Let me illustrate. Husband wants to make cup of tea. He is aggitated. He cannot find the sugar. Don't we have any sugar left? He says. Of course we have sugar. Am I not the gluten free baking queen? I need sugar to live. To give energy. To give me my sugar high. No sugar? No way. Not my house. Of course we have bloody sugar.

"It's in the pantry" I say

"I can't find it" he says

I come to assist in locating the stray sugar. He is just standing in front of the pantry skimming the items that are facing him. Does he look on each shelf, moving and looking as he sorts through various foodstuffs and endless tins of Nesquik?

NO. HE JUST STANDS THERE.

Now I am not aware that sugar has any super powers. I am pretty sure it doesn't have the ability to leap out and shout out to the insuperior male species looking for it to say "I'M HERE". So until that happens, just standing there and looking blindly at the pantry isn't going to help you locate the sugar.

You need to get in there. Damnit. The pantry is a complex storage space that houses a lot of food. Odds on there is a good chance that what you are after is going to be under or behind something else. So you have to FIND IT.

The other day he says "Where is the Panadol?".

"It's in the bathroom cupboard" I retort.

"Which bathroom". Ok. Good question. We have three.

"The Ensuite" I say.

"Can't find it".

Now, there is a good reason why he cannot find the Panadol. He has opened every DRAWER except the CUPBOARD I said it was located in. I can hear the drawers slamming shut and I can hear that he hasn't opened the cupboard on the vanity yet.

"ITS IN THE CUPBOARD!!!!" I yell

"It's not here".

So I leave what I was doing. No doubt that it was something very important. I can't quite recall what it was at this point. So I run over to him. Anticipating that I will see my husband, standing, looking at the cupboard, scratching his head, looking at everything facing him. Oh look. Right on Taryn. What a surprise. He is exactly as you thought. He hasn't tried to move a thing to try and find the Panadol. Once again, if it doesn't stare him in the face and start glowing with neon intensity the minute he opens the cupboard, it isn't in there. It takes me 5 seconds of moving some shampoo out the way and

TA DA. Panadol located. Crises averted.

I call it MSL (Male Selective Blindness) because he has no problems locating his protein powder or all the vitamins he needs to continue to assist in lifting heavy things with ease.

Now look. My husband is a VSM (Very Smart Man). So why does his brain take a holiday when he decides to look for certain things?

When you figure it out, let me know.

Dear Other Road Users

2010-07-22T12:43:00.005+08:00

Dear Other Road Users,

I try to be a courteous, calm driver. I try to extend the fabulousness that is me onto the road.

BUT...

If you are TURNING RIGHT AT A STOP SIGN. For GODS SAKE. Veer into the right. So that when I come along and want to turn LEFT at the said intersection, I will be able to move up against you and pull into the traffic while you sit and wait to navigate your way through more traffic than I.

If you hog the road so I cannot vear left around you. I will be pissed. I will swear that you are a selfish road hogging animal.

That is all.

Regards. Taryn xx

An Extraordinary Day. A Day off.

2010-07-19T13:13:00.008+08:00

A week ago today something fabulous happened.

I got the day off.

It was quite surprising. It happened all very quickly. It wasn't planned.

I asked my Mother In Law to watch the kids for an hour while I had my eyes tested at the Optometrist. It's not really an appointment that you can take kids to when you have to sit in a room 1 metre x 1.5 metres. With two people already in there, things are already a little cramped. Having 2 little people with ants in their pants (so to speak) in there too is just too much to bare.

So we arrive at her place and MIL says something truly fabulous.

"Just leave them here for the day"

JUST LEAVE THEM HERE FOR THE DAY

Yes. 7 fabulous words. When put together makes a pregnant, worn out MUM and VERY HAPPY MUM INDEED.

"Are you sure. I don't know Harry needs a sleep blah blah.....".

"That's ok, we'll manage. Please?" She says. Bless her.

OK!! Well no problems, the ratbags are all yours. And with that I picked up my bag and was out the door quicker than you could say "Get the bugger outa here".

I had my eyes tested. I picked some new glasses. Apart from the fact that I am a few years away from being declared LEGALLY BLIND all was going well. (No I am not joking about that bit). After paying close to $6983 for having the lense thickness reduced to a somewhat more socially acceptable size and keeping them thinner than SAFETY GLASS, what was I going to do now. It's 11.30am?

So I went to the fruit shop and bought fruit without Mr 2 sampling every fruit and vegetable in the shop. Without him throwing each and every single item on the floor when it doesn't meet with his expectations.

Then I went to Coles. I had a normal trolley. Not one of those Trolley-Come-People Movers which are the length of the entire Lolly Section. I didn't groan with agony as I moved trolley around. Those buggers are hard to move. I read labels. I Ummed and Arrrred about which brand to buy. This was a welcome change to just throwing everything in the trolley without a second glance.

I came home. Put it all away. Easily. Relaxed. In a clear and logical organised way.

I watched DR PHIL. Yes DR PHIL and indulged in Other People's Problems. Aren't Mum's meant to watch this shit? I never have time to.

I made some soup for lunch. Sat down and ATE IT. Not rushed. Without small people wanting some. Without just giving it all to them. I ate it all myself.

And then I got that funny feeling. Bored? No, it's That-Guilty-Feeling. Why do Mum's always feel guilty. There is nothing here to feel guilty about. NO I AM NOT GOING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THEM SPENDING TIME AT THEIR NONNA'S HOUSE. So nerr. Walk off that short plank GUILT I am not dealing with you today.

I ring MIL. They are both fine. No worries. See you tonight for dinner tonight she says. Oh lordy. It's a long time until dinner. What am I going to do until then?

So I went to the shops, did some milling around. Did some housework and then it was time for dinner.

It was fabulous. Gotta love the MIL..THANKYOU. And I did it with ZERO guilt. That is all.

** I would also like to use this post to thank MY MUM who also watches the kids for me also on too many occasions (possibly more than I would like to admit). *Ahem*. I am VERY LUCKY to be spoilt with a choice of babysitters. Thanks Mum xx

Some Funny Shit. Thanks Mr Google.

2010-07-15T15:23:00.013+08:00

My blog gives me good giggle. Let me explain. There is this fandangle thing called Statcounter (and there are lots of other versions like it out there). It gives you lots of stats about your website. Actually it is not really "fandangle" so to speak, but possibly more "lame" for some of you more knowledgeable computer peoples out there. Anyways. Getting off topic. So this Statcounter thing can show me what things people have typed into Mr Google to get to my site.

You should see what people search for on Google. Because it's funny. Let's have a look at some recent enquiries shall we?

The number represents the number of times it was keyed into Google.
The words next to it represents the actual search term people have keyed in.

6 x taryn rucci. This was undoubtedly 6 of my friends who can't remember my blog's URL but can remember my name.

4 x carman's muesli. Why would you google a breakfast cereal. I mean. Come on. It's bad enough that I blogged about it but to ACTIVELY SEARCH FOR INFORMATION ABOUT A MUESLI IS JUST BLOODY TRAGIC.
2 x swim lessons. Yes my daughter doesn't like swimming lessons. Sucks to be me.

2 x daughter doesn't like swim lessons blog. Oh good. You can relate to my situation. Good luck.

1 x cursed hot water bottle. Yes my hot water bottle was cursed until I threw it in the bin and got myself a new one. Perhaps you should try it too.

1 x my daughter wont swim or go under water. Yes you poor bugger. Mine too.

2 x 20 weeks pregnant blog spot. Some poor ladies looking to empathise with someone no doubt. Don't worry only another 20 weeks to go.

1 x 20 WEEK OF PREGNANCY + WORKIG 8 HOURS A DAY. Oh yes love. That's tough. Try working 24 goddamn hours a day 7 days a week and being pregnant. Oh the joys.

1 x 4 year old doesn't want to go back to swim lessons. Well my daughter isn't 4 yet but I bloody hope she is over her aversion to swimming lessons by the time she gets there

1 x 5 weeks pregnant nesquik in milk . Your Nesquik is 5 weeks pregnant? You need help!

1 x chocolate nesquick good during pregnancy. Damn straight. THE BEST.

1 x taryn protein muffins. Maybe so but if they are not gluten free I won't be baking them.

1 x father serafim said that women should not wear pants is this true. I don't know what the bloody hell you are on about but you won't find anything on this site about that.

1 x gluten free zucchini muffins. Yes delicious. Enjoy.

1 x what does taryn want to eat. Taryn wants to eat everything.

1 x sick of lycra. Damn straight. Especially in the Jeggings variety.

Told you it was funny. bahahahaha xx

Just Another Night at The Office

2010-07-13T09:08:00.008+08:00

Last night was interesting. I want to put this down on paper (so to speak) so that when my children are adults and have their own kids, I will be able to sympathise with them. Because one of the joys of my brain is that I forget a lot of stuff and all the wake ups during the night that arise because of two small children and a pregnancy will be forgotten.

Here is how last night went.

7pm Kids in Bed

8.30pm Masterchef has finished. Taryn in bed

10.30pm I wake. I need to wee.

11.30pm. I wake up to Mr 2 screaming. "I WANT MY BLANKET .... ON!!! MUUUUM" I jolt out of bed and do as requested.

2am. I wake. I need to wee. Again

3am. I have the sudden urge to drink large quantities of apple and blackcurrent juice. I run to fridge and scull lovingly.

3.30am. Miss 3 wakes. She needs to do a wee.

3.30 - 4am - Miss 3 very snuffly. Wakes me again. "Mum I have BOOGERS!!!". I wipe her nose. As you do.

4.30am. She is still awake I can hear her on the monitor snuffling. I get her and bring her into our bed. She sneezes about 145 times. This requires the same approximate number of nose wipes with an old flannelette nappy. I am trying to be environmentally sound. Ok?

4.30 - 5am. She proceeds to kick her legs and fidget in our bed. She is driving me crazy. Watch out. The Mummy bomb is coming. "STOP FIDGETING OR YOU WILL GO BACK IN YOUR OWN BED!" I yell. Success. She sleeps like a 400 kilo man..... snoring her little head off. No that is not a locomotive. That is my daughter.

6am. Alarm goes off. Husband off to gym. I awake because I just do.

7.11am. Mr 2 wakes. Yelling "MUUUUUM! I want my WEETBIX". But the funny thing is he doesn't like Weetbix. He means Nutrigrain. A half full bowl. With a half a cup of milk. In a porcelain bowl. With a spoon. Stuff any of those things up and you have a tantrum about to erupt.

It's no wonder my morning coffee is so enjoyable.

The funny thing is that after 4 years of small kids and pregnancies requiring numerous wake ups, I don't even feel tired. I'm fine. I wonder what a long stretch of time with no wake ups will feel like? Sadly it is going to be a long time before I find out.

What's in a name?

2010-07-10T07:59:00.006+08:00

I haven't blogged much lately. That's because my brain has been full of thoughts of drinking indecent quantities of Nesquik and not much else.

I have been also quite perplexed over our lack of names to call this baby. We really only had 2 baby names. Which we used. Now with a third baby, we find ourselves with nothing. But it's great that we have the kids to help out with this. Here are the kids suggestions.

Harry. Aged 2
Bob (the builder)
Thomas (the tank engine)
Roar (like a lion. The front runner)
Bert and Ernie

Poppy Aged 3
Tinkerbell (you know like. The fairy)
Angelina Ballerina
Abby Cadaby (like in Sesame street)

Their suggestions tell me one thing. They watch too much television, but they have provided some valuable input which we will largely ignore.

Choosing a name is such a difficult task. It's so central to who a person is. Their name is special and it has to be right. I don't want it to be too popular and I don't want it to be so weird that no one can ever remember their name. It also needs to match my other kids names.

That is why I have always liked my name. It's not a very popular one but not completely unheard of. I have known a few Taryn's in my life.

I was named after a CELEBRITY BABY. Can you believe that? I guess it is because Mum read the name and really liked it. Once upon a time in the 50's, a Hollywood actor Tyrone Powers had a daughter and called her Taryn. The name was basically a female version of his name to honor her father but obviously much prettier.

The only problem with the name Taryn is the fact that it gets confused with Karen and most of my life I have gone by two names. Karen and Taryn.

Growing up I was always the short arse with the long surname:

PAPANASTASIOU
Pronounced Papa - nasta - see - you

Yes it has just as many letters as the alphabet. In the days when you used to have to SIGN your name in order to make a credit card transaction, the shop assistant usually had time to poor herself a cuppa and be back at the register in time to receive the newly scrawled piece of paper.

Of course with such a big woggy Greek surname I copped it in the name calling stakes

Taryn Papa - Nice - To - See - You
Papa Smurf
Taryn Alphabet
Pappa
and the list goes ON AND ON AND ON

So it is no wonder when my husband popped the question I was giddy with excitement. I would be losing my last name and

DEFINITELY TAKING HIS NICE SHORT ONE WHICH RHYMED WITH GUCCI AND A THIRD OF THE SIZE OF MY PREVIOUS SURNAME

Oh and I was also happy to be starting our life together as a married couple of course. *Ahem*.

How do you feel about your name and any previous maiden names?

Gluten Free Zucchini Muffins

2010-07-05T13:11:00.006+08:00

I never know how to spell Zucchini. Or Zuchini. Or Zuchinni. Bloody hell. It's just one of THOSE words for me that I struggle with. Actually I struggle with the English language most of the time and that word is just a royal pain in the arse.

Anyway I cooked a batch of these gluten free goodies and it didn't have me swearing about the ineffectiveness of gluten free flour (which is what normally happens when I bake) so I thought it best to share these.

They had a great texture and could be eaten the next day. (Which is a rarity)

Also it uses OIL as opposed to butter which I prefer.

Ingredients for muffins
150 g gluten free ham
1 small onion grated
1 cup of gluten free self-raising flour
1/2 cup cold pressed olive oil
4 eggs
2 cups grated zucchini
1 cup grated tasty cheese

Pre-heat a hot oven to 200C
Place flour, oil, eggs in bowl and mix.
Add grated cheese, ham, onion and zucchini to flour/oil mix and stir well.
Spoon into non-stick muffin pans (of any size) but do not over-fill muffin pans.
Place in oven for 15 minutes (mini muffins), 20 minutes (cup-cake size muffins) or 25 minutes (large muffins).

Its a great way to hide a green vegetable for small people!

Hello Brain? Anyone in there?

2010-06-29T16:57:00.011+08:00

Help me, I think I am growing complacent with age. I am turning into a Dummy Mummy.

Normally my brain comes to easy conclusions, forms strong opinions and questions authority.

In the week since I posted last I have formed opinions about absolutely nothing.

So much has happened for me to form opinions on. Like a change of Prime Minister. Other than the fact that they INTERUPTED MASTERCHEF TRANSMISSION to show Rudd the Dudd announcing a showdown, I couldn't care less. Then a women became the Prime Minister. Yeah thats....GOOD?

What? You say she doesn't believe in God and she is in a DEFACTO relationship. Well well. What a scandal. Good luck to her. What about the other 3,459, 433 Australians living in a defacto relationships (or Living In Sin)*. I don't care. What's that? You say her partner is a hairdresser! That's one lucky lady! She doesn't have to even leave the house to get her hair jooshed. If I am feeling anything that would be known as JEALOUS.

Then some old evictees came back into Masterchef. Not one. Not two. THREE!! NUMB.

Socceroo's got eliminated. At least Tim Cahill got his shirt off. BORING.

Then Italy got eliminated. Husband shattered. Me - OBLIVIOUS

The lawnmower man failed to show up. WHATEVER

My gluten free scones came out of the oven tasting like rocks, AND they were on fire. YES OKAY.

I think I have been too busy looking after sick kids. Mr 2 has had more illnesses this Winter than I have whinged about being pregnant in my lifetime (A LOT). He is not sleeping well and neither am I.

Then I realised something. I had an Oprah Winfrey "A-ha" moment. Could it be that complacently is direct correlated to lack of sleep?

I think that's my problem. I have approximately 5489 hours of missed sleep since Miss 3 arrived. I am owed sleep in buckets and it's only going to get worse before it gets better.

*That statistic is based on my own approximations and is only loosely based on fact.

20 Weeks Pregnant MeMe

2010-06-22T19:07:00.006+08:00

It's time for a MeMe. If you don't visit Blogland often, a MeMe is when you talk a lot of shit about yourself. For me, personally a MeMe doesn't make much sense - because EVERY POST on this blog is pretty much about me talking about myself.

I am 20 weeks pregnant. Over half way. I even have a date for my C-Section as well as the time. Not that I will be sharing that. Let's just say the baby will be a few weeks old before I become the hostess with the mostess at my 15 year High School Reunion on the 13th November. Needless to say that roughly 2 weeks after birth I won't be looking my best. Things will be a bit wobbly. While everyone else is looking svelte from their diet, I will resemble a deflated balloon. Noice. I was cutting that very close but made it. *Wipes sweat from brow*.

Here is how I look.

My scan showed a very healthy baby with very active hands! Every time the sonographer tried to give us a 4D image of it's face it would hide behind it's hands. So seems it might be a bit shy and a bit cheeky. Bit like it's Mum. Already.

We don't know the sex. It's one of lifes best little surprises and makes a 9 month pregnancy all the more bearable.

I am definitely not as big as I was with the other two. In fact. I feel a lot different to my other pregnancies. Firstly, I don't feel pregnant. I don't feel exhausted. I don't feel the need to lie on the couch all the waking hours of the day. This had me a bit worried. But all is good.

I still have the same cravings and I still have the same dodgy Sciaitic nerve which shoots down my leg and causes a lot of pain.

I would like to thank:

1. The supermarkets in close proximity to my home. For providing endless quantities of fruit, juice, milk and Nesquik. Thankyou for your dedication in keeping the shelves plentiful.

2. Australian Dried Apricots

3. My son's toilet training chocolate buttons which I have eaten before I have even tried to toilet train him.

4. Go Natural Fruit Clusters. I single handedly ate all the stock in Perth.

5. My husband for nodding his head understandably when I whinge and complain about my bung leg. And while he really wasn't listening. I know he cares.

When Macca's feels like a Brothel

2010-06-16T12:43:00.008+08:00

I had some firm ideas about raising children before they actually came along.

I would judge people who fed their kids crap. Walking through a shopping centre, if I saw a toddler eating a cheeseburger I would be horrified. I am not sure why. Not sure why this even concerned me because, clearly it was none of my business. I did not know the family. The mother. The toddler. I did not know what meals the family were providing for the child for the other 20 or so meals through out the week.

When my kids did arrive, things changed - as they are sure to do. I had to weigh up the situation with the strong views residing in my small brain.

Before I knew it, I was taking the kids to McDonalds. Not every day. Maybe once a month, sometimes even once a week. For a special "treat" to meet friends. It really is the best place to take kids to muck around in the play area. It's fully enclosed, with no little people entertaining the thought of taking off. In Perth, there are not many places like this - where you chat openly with other Mum's and actually HAVE A CONVERSATION. So that is why we kept going and kept taking our children there.

At first we started calling it the "Ice Cream Shop". Why? Because it's McDonalds. It has a bad reputation on all things nutrition. Admitting the actual name of the place we were going to was somehow admitting to the absolute failure of a mother I had become. Taking the kids there made me feel a bit ....dirty. Everywhere in the media we are bombarded by this research and that research and somehow things got a bit bloody inflexible and 5 serves of vegetables and 2 serves of fruit became the mantra of all new mothers.

Don't get me wrong. My kids eat well. I plan our meals. We have a fridge full of vege's and fruit and both husband and I eat healthily. My daughter only just asked me to buy her some more chick peas at Coles FFS. Most kids at that age are whinging for chocolate at the supermarket. Obviously a healthy diet is of extreme importance to their lives, both now and in the future. I am not denying that.

So now, many years later I have learnt to RELAX. A fricken Cheeseburger with fries and maybe an ice cream is not going to bloody kill them. Having it each day might very well do that. Surely having a few hours active play with friends outweighs the food we give them during that time.

And what about us, their mothers? They have great coffee. The fries, shakes and hash browns are gluten free, so are their friands. It's like gluten free heaven there for me. I can eat too. Without asking 1,456,987 questions like I normally do.

So when I now see a toddler with a tub of hot chips at the shops I walk on by. I do not judge because now I am that mother. A mum's gotta do what a mum's gotta do.

And if you are going to disagree with me you are more than welcome to. I welcome you to comment and share your view. If you are however going to copy and paste half of what I said into your own blog for your own personal gain then you obviously have a smaller brain than I.

Cravings Cravings.... AHHHHH!

2010-06-11T17:43:00.005+08:00

Being pregnant is great, sometimes. You can crave stuff like you would normally but when you are pregnant you actually act on it. Like. Every single time. Because you are pregnant. You deserve it.

I giggle with excitement walking into the Fresh Produce department at the local supermarket. I want fruit and I can't get enough of it. I will chop all the fruit I can find to make the biggest fruit salad and eat it dilligently for every meal until it's all gone.

Pregnancy has me drinking humungous quantities of liquid. I am concerned I could quite possibly drown. I can't get enough. My thirst is insatiable. Today I drank 2L of chocolate Nesquik, 1L ice cold water, about another half litre of milk and another 1L of orange juice. I peer into the chilled juice cabinet at Coles and start to shake. I WANT TO DRINK ALL OF IT RIGHT NOW, RIGHT NOW. GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

Last night I had to do a Thickshake run. Destination: Maccas. Mission: to purchase the biggest strawberry thickshake I could lay my hands on. Thickshakes out of those "machines" are one of the 276,354 food "no no's". Which is all well and good if you can eat anything you please, which I cannot. Macca's thickshakes are one of a few very rare fast food thingies I can buy that are gluten free. So I will have 5. No. Make that 6. Thankyou. Very Much.

I am the very worst poster child for pregnancy. I still have my soft feta cheese. I still have my processed meats. I still have my SMOKED SALMON! *Shock* *Horror*. These foods are a part of me (yes I am fond of food) and I just can't give them up.

Though eating dinner has me feeling queasy. I'm just not into it. Maybe because I have already injested a combination of 3987 different foods during the day, I am just not up to it. It is possibly a case of my stomach rebelling, it just can't process any more STUFF.

But it's not just fruit and liquid. It's American Gluten free sausages which I craved all week. They are like totally gross aren't they? But they hit the spot. And Go Natural Fruit Clusters which hit the spot at the time. Unfortunately I injested a few too many PACKETS and now they make me feel ill.

Are you a bad pregnant lady? What were your pregnancy cravings?

This is me. Yo. Keeping it real. Like. Bro

2010-06-03T12:39:00.003+08:00

Wait. Did you hear that? Shhh. That sound you just heard was my brain exploding. It doesn't take much for my brain to be overwhelmed by information because well. It's quite volatile. And when I say that I really mean I am not the brightest Mum at the kindy pick up line.

Yesterday my brain took on more than it could handle. You see. I got fooled. As did many other wonderfully kind, generous and supportive ladies. We got fooled online. I have never had a bad online experience before. Actually yes that time I blogged about High Pants and got pulled through hot coals - but that was different. That was me speaking my mind, about a very important fashion issue *cough*. I wasn't trying to fool anyone.

But some people can't be trusted. An online Twitter and blog "friend" had been spinning some royally dodgy porkies. She had gone to great lengths to pretend she had cancer which is of so much disrespect to those who have actually been dealt that hand in their lifetime.

My involvement with her was not massive. Yes I maybe tweeted her name a few times and she may have done the same to me. She had me as a "friend" on facebook for a short time. We did not send emails. Our communication was limited and I never met her. Being in Perth has it's advantages (sometimes). But there were a lot of online friends who opened their homes and their hearts and purses to this person who are feeling a bit rightly pissed.

Honestly what kind of a person makes up this kind of shit? She had two blogs dedicated to her life and her fight with cancer. All rubbish. She made up doctors. She made up other fake "friends" to corroberate her story. She used pics of sick people in hospital and said it was her. The lies are just starting to unfold.

So I just wanted to reiterate that yes indeed, my name is Taryn. My husband is buff. I certainly can verify I have two kids. Wait. Stand there. ONE, TWO. Yes I have two. And I have one foetus which will soon become a baby which has started to make it's presence known in my tummy.

You know, just keeping it real. Everything you read here is real. There are a few exagerations on a few posts I will certainly admit to that but all circumstances are real. (My previous post about nesting did mention that my fridge was "black" when actually you would find it was more a "brown/green" kind of hue. Which I will insist is worse than black. When you use the word "green" it brings about mouldy mental images and I did not want to be judged as a dirty lady who can't keep her house clean.)

Oh and yes. I have a cold too.

I'm Nesting. Run for your life!

2010-05-29T09:24:00.007+08:00

I find myself 17 weeks pregnant, and this week saw some very intensive cleaning of my home. Not the usual type of cleaning. I managed to find things to clean this week that I hadn't even noticed were dirty. Things that had actually never been cleaned.... needed to be cleaned. This is what nesting does to you. You become possessed by the Cleaning Devil for a short period of time and then your house returns back to the usual rubbish tip it was after the baby arrives.

Suddenly dusty tops of wardrobes had begun to annoy me. I am not sure why. My cleaning motto is "If you can't see it, you don't need to clean it". Dusty doilies and table runners had me in fits of panic. Never before had the black inside of my fridge begun to annoy me as much as high pants do. The inside of the car, which had rotten plums, biscuit crumbs and other miscellaneous residual parts of food located in it, had me running for the Dyson and vacuuming like a mad woman.

With my other children I didn't start to nest until I was ready to pop. This time it has come early. Perhaps there is more to do this time around? With a 2 and 3 year old running around the house the place has certainly never felt dirtier.

Then suddenly 4 years worth of unfinished renovations began to shit me. It had really caused me no issues before. I was just happy to see the bulk of the reno's finished and to a point where we could actually live comfortably with a lot of extra space.

Then I realised we need more furniture to like, put stuff in. All the toys in our house need a home rather than being placed around various vantage points around the house. Suddenly I felt underseige from all the Fisher Price and Thomas The Tank Engines. The mess is out to get me!

My undressed windows need to be jooshed! They look ugly! They have been this way for SEVEN WHOLE years but suddenly I am concerned what everyone must think about the unfurnished state of our home. I really never cared before. Only when I am nesting.

Husband conveniently made himself scarce when he saw me twitching and ranting under my breath about how I was still waiting for the jarrah architraves to be put around all the new doors 4 years after they were put in. He is a smart man.

Because with nesting comes spending and he doesn't like to spend money.

He hasn't always been like this. Husband used to be the "spender" before we were married and I was the "saver". Somehow during our marriage we seem to have switched roles. He became more like me and I became more like him. I guess being with someone that long does that to you.

So off I will trott today to Spotlight to buy curtains. Then to IKEA for some children-toy-hiding solutions and then off to to the Rug Shop to do something about these barron wooden floors.

I might see you at the shops. I'll be the one twitching, moving frantically at warp speed.

Poor Mastercard.

Old Friends

2010-05-24T13:23:00.008+08:00

I need to publish a new post just to show I am over the lengthy debate that followed since my post about Terri Irwin's High Pants. Boy that was intense. I am always being a bit silly on this blog poking fun at things that annoy the crap out of me (bad pants, Jeggings, loose buttons, my husband...the list goes ON and ON) and I make no apologies for it. Needless to say I craved for a bit of champagne (by "bit" I mean "the whole bottle") after the debate that followed, and then as I rushed to the fridge to pop the cork I looked down and saw my huge pregnant belly. Damn it, life can be cruel.

Let's change the pace a bit.

I went through my wedding album recently and was reminded of a few friends who were at my wedding that we just don't see anymore. I was a bit saddened by it all really to see that we had lost touch for one reason or another over the years. It got me thinking about old friends in general.

Friends who I went to school with, uni with, work with - that were MY WHOLE LIFE at the time but were not strong enough to withstand the pressures of everyday life and everything that fills it.

Could it be possible that friends serve their purpose at the time and then we let them slip, involuntary as that part of us that we have in common slips away too? Are there those friends that have a deeper connection to us where no change of circumstance can alter the relationship? Why is this?

Something happened recently that made me a little saddened. By "saddened" meaning "rightly pissed and outrageously mad". A male friend of mine, who I had been quite close with over a number of years pre children, up and got married after a whirlwind romance. I didn't get invited to the wedding.

While I am very happy that he has found happiness, it made me sad that I didn't make the cut. Then when the pictures appear on Facebook, I felt saddened even more.

While welcoming new children to our family was a big change in our life, perhaps I could have done more to facilitate the friendship. Perhaps I got caught up so much in the children that I didn't have that time to spend on nurturing a friendship that was once, great. But lets face it. A married mother of two no longer has much in common with a single male.

While I will not blame myself (not my style), I had organised a few gatherings and included him in it (well ok, just one) but I tried didn't I? I do miss him, but he has changed. Things just aren't what they were and there isn't any going back.

Where does this leave our friendship? Is it over? When I want to arrange dinner with common friends do I invite him? Do I not invite him? That seems a bit rude to not invite him to something but he did that to me didn't he? To his WEDDING.

What do you think?

Letters to Life - Pavlova in the Oven

2010-05-15T12:38:00.004+08:00

Dear Pavlova in the oven,

I made you because I don't like the pavlova you can buy at the shops and top yourself. They just aren't crunchy on the outside anymore. I am not sure why this is. They just don't make them like I remember when I was a kid.

I saw you on Masterchef and with only 4 ingredients I mocked the contestants for not being able to achieve such a simple dessert within the timeframe.

And now that I have done it myself I appreciate that it isn't as easy as it looks to get your eggwhites to a perfect glossy, sugar dissolved stiffness. My apologies.

I hope it tastes alright. I am sure none of my guests will be complaining. They are just happy to be in perfect company.

I tried.

Love Taryn

Letters to Life - My Daughters Muffins

2010-05-14T20:17:00.003+08:00

To my beautiful daughter,

I over-toasted your English Muffin today. You made me laugh when you asked me if I put vegemite on it.

It did look like I had.

No sweety I put butter and honey.

I will pay more attention next time.

Love Mum

Letters To Life - Carman's Muesli

2010-05-13T14:44:00.007+08:00

Dear Carmans Gluten Free Muesli,

There are too many sultanas in your breakfast cereal.

This coupled with very tough dates requires an additional 5 mins in the morning so I can pick them all out.

Just Sayin'.

Love Taryn xx

Letters to Life

2010-05-13T14:36:00.004+08:00

I am starting a new string of posts here on This Is Taryn.

I am going to call them "Letters to Life".

These are short messages to aspects of my life - people, places, things.

Actually they are my facebook status updates which everyone finds interesting/lame/hillarious (depending on who you are).

They might be daily. They might not be.

This post is "inspired" by Leah's ThxThxThx blog. I love these little messages that she puts up. Mine won't be Thankyou Notes however, but they will have the same spirit to them.

I will post again with my first "Letters to Life".

Bloggers Without Makeup Friday 14th May

2010-05-13T13:38:00.005+08:00

Tomorrow is BLOGGERS WITHOUT MAKE UP FRIDAY.

Bet you never heard of it. That's because fellow blogger, Jodie made it up. You can read about that post here. I like it when people make things up. It's out of the norm. Stepping out of the four walls. For a cause. So you can all see how ugly we are without make up? No, its to show the real us. Without the glam photo's.

I gotta say though. The pic of me on my blog is so not glam.

I got no problem with being makeup-less for a photo because people who know me (you know like. IN PERSON) see me everyday with not a skitch of makeup on most of the time. Because I am a busy mum and I would rather eat breakfast than put on make up when given the choice. Because quite frankly I don't care what you think. I have a lot of inner beauty. Focus on that would you?

Recently I have bought one of those vibrating mascaras. When faced with a make up choice I will ALWAYS PICK THE MASCARA. It's a NO CONTEST. And now they are vibrating? Although it's a very good mascara, the vibrating action does absolutely nothing to enhance it's effect. In fact. It's a little bit annoying.

Here is my photo which I took with the webcam while little Harry had his daytime sleep. I look like I really need to do the same. Here is the real ME:

Tired. Pregnant. Large pores. I could go on and on.

Happy Bloggers-Without-Makeup-Friday!

A Perfect Day with Clean Floors

2010-05-09T15:30:00.007+08:00

Mothers day is one of the best days of the year. With motherhood you get ownership in Mother's day. It's your entitlement after sleepless nights. Cleaning their nappies. Feeding them. I could go on and on and on and on.........The only job that never ends.

I was looking forward to wafting around the house in my kaftan (that I don't own), listening to Enya (that I do own, where did I put it?), enjoying some sweet relaxation and praising sweet children on their excellent behaviour while eating Go Natural Fruit Clusters in excessive quantities and enjoying the day off.

The children wake at a lovely 7am. The best wake up time. My beautiful daughter has drawn a picture of me which she drew at Kindy. It has "My Mummy" written underneath it. My green hair is in its usual unkempt state. My ears are very large and red. And my arms? Well there aren't any. But it actually resembles a person. I am so proud of her. It's the first time she has really drawn anything resembling a person. This picture we will keep!

My husband bought me a top of the wozza Homedics massager to try and relieve the problems I have been having with my lower back. He might be hoping to cut out my weekly deep tissue therapy massage but I told him he was dreaming. Then I realise that was not his aim. He wants to use it too. I'm happy to share but he just needs to build a soundproof box with a lockable door so I can sit on it without small people wanting to use it too. Now THAT would be bliss!

I was looking forward to escaping the breakfast shift and getting husband to feed the kids but they both started to cry when faced with the prospect of having their father fetch their breakfast cereal. He just doesn't do it right you see? I have a special knack for reaching up high and putting processed food in a bowl. I was back on duty.

But of course I can never just do nothing so I decide the floors are looking a bit crap and I vaccuum and mop them.

We went to Mum's for a lovely breakfast and heading to my mother in law's soon for some dinner.

I must not forget to tell you husband took the kids to the soccer for 2 hours to give me some Taryn Time. Ahhhhhh.

All in all. A great day. Wish they came a bit more frequently!

Baby Brain Is Not a Myth

2010-05-05T14:38:00.004+08:00

I have been pregnant 3 times. Although my sample size is still relatively small I can vouch for the fact that Baby Brain is like totally real. Man.

Here are some dumb things I have done recently.

At about 5 weeks pregnant I bought a lovely white cotton long sleeve top for my daughter at Big W when we were on holidays. This will come in handy for Winter I thought to myself, to pop under all her dresses so we can get her summer attire to get some wear during the Winter months.

We begin to pack to go home and I start to panic. Where did I put the bloody thing? Now I know it's not fricken Ralph Lauren but the fact that I could misplace something is very strange. Because I am very organised.

I headed down to the car. Did I leave it in the boot? Nope. I empty all the suitcases (there are a few because we have kids... remember?) Nope. Not there. I search our hotel room, displace everything in my anxiety to find the missing top but nothing. Na da.

So I look in the fridge because I really have looked everywhere else. And there it is. Sitting under a pile of half munched on apricots. With apricot juice all over it.

Seriously I put her top in the fridge with a bunch of half eaten apricots. A few questions here:

Why didn't I just throw the half eaten apricots in the bin? Not sure.

Why did I put the top in with the half eaten apricots? Not sure.

Why did I put the entire lot in the fridge?

Because I HAVE BABY BRAIN.

And yesterday I spilt an entire 2L milk all over the floor at the Fruit Shop. I can't blame the kids because it wasn't their fault. So we will just blame..

BABY BRAIN. Because Baby Brain makes you clumsy too.

What are your baby brain stories?

First Post Ever Revisited - Challenge

2010-05-02T08:17:00.005+08:00

I have been challenged by the lovely Linda at What Happens Next to repost my first post.

My first post was only in September so nothing has really changed! I am still whinging about the effect that my kids have on my shopping habits. Which is non existent now and on a purely needs only basis!

I realise now that I never really had one of those Introduction to Me blog posts where I tell you why I blog and how the blog came about. I just launched straight into it!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Before my two little monkeys came and turned my world up-side down I had a hobby. Shopping. It used to occupy my life so beautifully. We had a great relationship, shopping and I.

Oh there were some great memories. Calmly browsing stores, "ooing" and "ahhing". There was a lot of purchasing too might I add. The instant pick me up. Feeling tired? bored? stressed ladies? It's time to go shopping.

And shopping I did go, because what else was there to do really? It went something like this. Taryn gets out her Mastercard. Taryn gets a bag with lots of nice new pretty things in it. Such a beautiful time, a special moment if you will.

That was then. This is now. Taryn has a double stroller and a trip to the shops is frought with dramas.

With a double stroller there is a lot of window shopping going on for one reason mainly. I can't get the pram in and navigate through most shops. I can't tell you how MUCH THIS SUCKS, and it is funny because I never noticed before how much retailers were over-merchandising to a point where YOU CANNOT MOVE. It seems very possible that one store could quite possibly clothe the south island of New Zealand for a year. Cotton On is a good example. I just can't get into these shops. Which is a big shame because sometimes they have nice things.

Perhaps now is a good time to mention how hard it is to navigate in a double stroller. Because I am the tight ass who wouldn't spend over a $1000 on a good pram. Mine cost $229. That's why it was so cheap because you can't bloody move it. So if I run into you at the shops and I run over your toe, I'm sorry, really I did not mean it... blame the Child Moving Apparatus (CMA).

However there are some advantages... well one really. With my stroller though I win the stroller battles. You have one baby? Oh sorry I have TWO. My stroller is bigger than yours. I win. I go first. So nerrr.

And so the days of calmly browsing the shops are long gone because this lady is stressed and now has to lug around a bag full of snacks to throw at her kids to shut them up when the need arises. It weighs approximately 50 kilos and that is WITHOUT the drink bottles which have permanent residence inside the above mentioned suitcase ... I mean... bag.

Now I keep shopping a quick brisk excercise to minimise screaming for other patron shoppers and stress on their mother. It goes something like this. Make a list. Do not venture from the list. Get the things you need because the little man has a limited tolerance for all boring things and does not like to be stationary for a extended period of time. Get your jobs done and (if you are lucky) you might get to glance longingly into the store that you just can't get into.

Your Favourite Online Shops

2010-04-30T19:21:00.006+08:00

At the moment I am doing a dance because I managed to install the Facebook plug in for this website. Can you see it on the right? How much does it kick arse? BOO YEAH! I am so proud of myself, playing with HTML code and the like. I am still not sure what HTML code really is but it seems to be working with me at the moment so I am sooo loving it. If you have a blogger account and want to install it onto your blog, just send me an email and I will send you code that I worked out after many hours of swearing.

Anyway the point of this post is this. I need your help.

I do partake in a bit of online shopping. Always EBAY because I pretty much have no idea of the good places to buy. I would love to browse but I just don't know where to start.

What are your favourite online stores? Share them with us so we can all get some helpful hints and stop wasting our time with trying to find the good places to click onto. Because there are just so many online stores I never have the time to check them all out.

So what are your favourite online stores? What have you bought recently?