Yesterday something amazeballs happened.
I had my first cosmetic "procedure". For the record, I am not against any of these types of procedures. I think my view on this is largely due to the Nip Tuck TV show of which I am a big fan. I cried endlessly for days when the show was cancelled.
Since Harry was born I have struggled with facial redness across my nose and cheeks which makes me look permanently sunburnt (despite avoiding the sun in any way possible). And this Christmas, I have strong desires not to be mistaken for Rudolph the Reindeer's naughty little sister.
I have Rosacea. Apparently it's caused mostly by changing hormones so we'll blame the kids. It's also heredity. So we'll blame my parents.
It has been getting worse and worse. I bought a few creams. Mostly they succeeded in emptying my wallet and they did absolutely nothing to fix my problem.
So I decided to pay quite a lot of money and have it lasered. I went straight to a laser surgery clinic and was seen by a consultant and a Dermatologist applied the laser.
I was told to expect some burning and redness for a few days after the treatment. Told to stay out of the sun as my skin would be extra sensitive to it. I was told another treatment may be necessary, but as my condition was quite mild, it should respond to one treatment just fine.
Then I was told I may experience some "mild discomfort". I laughed. PLEASE LADY. I HAVE HAD 3 C SECTIONS AND ONE C SECTION WITH AN EPIDURAL THAT DIDN'T WORK. I CAN HANDLE PAIN! HAHAHAHAHAHAH. I was smug.
She likened the "discomfort" to being flicked by an elastic band. HAHAHAHAH. Pur-lease. Do not insult my pain threshold.
I lay down for my procedure. The doc reiterates this "mild discomfort" palaver. She says I may jolt after each zap. She then says that many patients have a PANIC ATTACK DURING THE PROCEDURE.
Oh. Shit. It was then I realise this might actually be bad.
And it was.
It was UNF*CKING BELIEVABLY PAINFUL! Flicked by an elastic band? WHAT!? Have you had this done to you? Are you f*ucking insane! It was like being whacked with bloody hot iron multiple times. The heat is so intense you jolt to the freaken moon and back, it's such a bloody shock to the system.
There was no anxiety attack (this time). But if I need a follow up procedure done, I will be giving it lots of thought.
That was easily more painful than childbirth.
I have to give my skin 6-8 weeks to see any improvements. Already it's calmed down a bit and it's not radiating heat like it always does. Which is surprising because I felt like I'd received 3rd degree burns to my face during the treatment.
I am hopeful I don't have to go back, if I do - I may need to request an anesthetist.
Sorry dad for swearing.