The Ten Signs That Tell You, You're a Short Arse

I am short. No scrap that. I am really short. 152cm in fact. So yeah. I am pretty qualified to speak on this topic I reckon. I'll launch straight into it.

1. You go to Coles and you need something on the top shelf. But you are too short to reach it. You do the "jump and grab" trick but you fail. Dismally. Scared someone will ACTUALLY SEE YOU DO THIS, you decide to wait discretely in the aisle, for someone taller than you to walk past. So you can smile at them and ask them to get it for you.

2. You buy a pair of jeans. They fit great. Awesome! But you need them adjusted and approximately half of the length needs to be cut off. This completely changes the look of the jean. You can't return them because you performed a drastic disection. You end up throwing them in the back of the closet and giving them to the Salvos some 7 years later.

3. You buy shorts. They are Capri's on you. You buy a maxi dress. You've unwillingly bought a parachute.



The Lifesaver. Every Short Person Has one (or 15)



4. You get asked for ID when you go to a licensed venue. Even though your Drivers License clearly states that you are 33 years old.



5. A salesperson comes to the door and asks if "Your Mum is Home?".

6. You put on 1kg. You've changed a dress size.



7. The drivers seat in the car is yanked up as high as it will go. Your husband smacks his head on the roof of the car everytime he gets in (and curses loudly).

8. You love wedges, heels, platforms and anything with a bit of height to give the illusion that you are at least of "average height".

9. You can't dust all those "high up" places, and you know they need doing but you ignore those jobs permanently because you are too short to manage it by yourself. And oh. What an excellent excuse.



10. Your most prized possession is a step ladder which you keep in your pantry. Because you can't reach the cereal boxes at the top of the pantry without it.